While we were sleeping — and waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping — America’s Finest were busy building a floating basketball court in America’s Finest City, preparing to host a game today (7pm ET, ESPN) between Michigan State and North Carolina.

Not as glamorous as its previous mission, however — the USS Carl Vinson is better known for taking Osama Bin Laden on his last ride before being dumped at sea.

[via Deadspin/RML]

Our guest columnist has an adorable habit of divorcing wives on their sickbeds.

There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate. And what I can tell you is that when I did things that were wrong, I wasn’t trapped in situation ethics, I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them…

I found that I felt compelled to seek God’s forgiveness. Not God’s understanding, but God’s forgiveness. I do believe in a forgiving God… And I do feel, in that sense, that God has given me, has blessed me with an opportunity as a person.

Gingrich Says God Forgave Him [Political Wire]

Our guest columnist is all too human.

Atlas Productions LLC announced today its plan to replace more than 100,000 title sheets appearing on the Atlas Shrugged Part 1 DVD and Blu-ray versions sold through major retail outlets. These retail versions were packaged with an inaccurate synopsis of Atlas Shrugged. Not affected were the “Special Edition” versions sold online at AtlasShruggedMovie.com.

The 1957 novel, Atlas Shrugged, is known in philosophical and political circles for presenting a cogent argument advocating a society driven by rational self-interest. On the back of the film’s retail DVD and Blu-ray however, the movie’s synopsis contradictorily states “AYN RAND’s timeless novel of courage and self-sacrifice comes to life…”

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“CBS News and National Journal… are announcing a Republican presidential debate to take place on November 12 at 8 p.m. ET. It will take place at Wofford College in Spartanburg, S.C. and will be moderated by CBS Evening News anchor and managing editor Scott Pelley and National Journal congressional correspondent Major Garrett. The debate, the first on broadcast television, will focus primarily on national security.” [CBS]

Ashton Kutcher, whose many talents include appearing in television commercials that pitch cameras to douchebags, took to the Twitters Wednesday night to express his sympathy for a hapless Republican who wasn’t at the debate:

How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste

A gazillion retweets later, he deleted the remark and posted an explanation:

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ABC World News Tonight [via @KeithOlbermann]

“What began as a man’s attempt to discipline his child turned into a sordid case of abuse when police say the Washington man forced his 16-year-old daughter to don Renaissance armor and engage in a wooden sword battle for two hours.” [CBS, via RML]