140 Characters is More Than One Man Can Bear

Ashton Kutcher, whose many talents include appearing in television commercials that pitch cameras to douchebags, took to the Twitters Wednesday night to express his sympathy for a hapless Republican who wasn’t at the debate:

How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste

A gazillion retweets later, he deleted the remark and posted an explanation:

Last night after returning home from work, I walked by the television and simply saw a headline that Joe Paterno had been fired. Having no more information than that, I assumed that he had been fired due to poor performance as an aging coach. As a football fan and someone who had watched Joe’s career move from that of legend/innovator to a head coach that fulfilled his duty in the booth, I assumed that the university had let him go due to football related issues. With that assumption (how dare I assume) I posted a tweet defending his career.

We can’t imagine the pressure Kutcher is under, having to fill Charlie Sheen’s shoes and partying hard in Sandy Eggo hot tubs without inviting us, so we’re inclined to cut him some slack. It would be totally unfair of us to mention how we, who have not followed Sport since Kutcher was born, somehow knew more about the Penn State situation than a devoted football fan and Paterno worshipper.

But Kutcher is nothing if not a fast learner, and he has seen the error of his ways: No more Twitters for him!

While I feel that running this feed myself gives me a closer relationship to my friends and fans I’ve come to realize that it has grown into more than a fun tool to communicate with people. While I will continue to express myself through @Aplusk, I’m going to turn the management of the feed over to my team at Katalyst as a secondary editorial measure, to ensure the quality of its content.

And there you have the New Millennium, ladies and gentlemen: Ashton Kutcher admits he’s too fucking stupid to write his own tweets.

Twitter Management [Ashton Kutcher]

Ashton Kutcher announces Twitter hiatus after Joe Paterno tweet [Yahoo]


You know things ain’t going well when you defend yourself against accusations that you’re a souless prick by insisting that you’re actually just a clueless moron.

@Serolf Divad:
Can’t he be both?

And Sandusky a registered GOPer? Color me unsurprised. Not because he’s a molester (although in some ways that too), but because sports and right wing go hand in hand. It’s rarity when you have a librul like Bill Lee or Jim Bouton popping up.

STINQUE DISTANT EARLY WARNING: Westboro Baptist Church to picket at the stadium before Penn State’s game against Nebraska. (That is, before a bunch of drunken, pissed-off fans looking to restore honor of school, immediately.)

I gotta go to the store tonight to stock up on popcorn.

@chicago bureau: very stupid move by fred and his flock. the westboro baptists will be a lightning rod that both husker and penn st fans will be drawn to and shower their common disdain upon. fred and his flock might as well show up at a an eagles game wearing a redskins jersey, a giants hat and waving a cowboys pennant. maybe they’ll show up in oakland one sunday in support of timmie too bogus. (aka tim tebow)



And damn if that stadium doesn’t give cold a whole new meaning.


The Westboro business model is to draw disdain, hatred, and, ideally, violence and repression down on their head. Then they sue claim persecution/denial of religious freedom, etc.

They’ll be as happy as a pig in shit.

On thread, and not to be a noodge, but Ashton Kutcher the man is not quite the same thing as Aston Kutcher, the multi-national conglomerate. It’s totally reasonable for Kutcherco to outsource the management of brand communcation… in fact, it’s smart. Celebrities tend to forget that they are Brands first and people second…

i found a link earlier this week but can’t now about a mass endorsement by PA celebrities of a significant number of republican’t candidates for state house and senate seats in the 90’s. it was a fairly big to-do featuring joepa as the head liner and sandusky on the under card. no mention was made of santorum being there or not. but it is conceivable that santorum and sandusky probably shared a stage at one time or another. i know that statement is awful foxish, but it sure sounds good don’t it. oh for a picture of sandusky and santorum together or any other currently campaigning republican’t.

check this out about sandusky turning down the temple job in 88 so he could stay down on the second mile farm:

@jwmcsame: There was also a wonderful moment yesterday when GOP Congresscritters suddenly withdrew a request to give Paterno a Medal of Freedom.

@nojo: why? joepa granted sandusky the freedom to pursue happiness in his own twisted way free of government interference. didn’t george tenet get the same for giving w the freedom to pursue his happiness in iraq?

@jwmcsame: You’re right: The only problem besetting Penn State is government regulation.

@nojo: and taxes. and the media. and scantily dressed women crying wolf. if sandusky had been free to sexually harass women in the workplace, none of this shit would have happened.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment