God to Newt: Go For It, Dawg

Our guest columnist has an adorable habit of divorcing wives on their sickbeds.

There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate. And what I can tell you is that when I did things that were wrong, I wasn’t trapped in situation ethics, I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them…

I found that I felt compelled to seek God’s forgiveness. Not God’s understanding, but God’s forgiveness. I do believe in a forgiving God… And I do feel, in that sense, that God has given me, has blessed me with an opportunity as a person.

Gingrich Says God Forgave Him [Political Wire]

Did god forgive you for that bribe from Tiffany’s? Or your stupid role in defining Operation Iraqinam Liberation?

T/J, remember Bloggie’s post about the Chevy Volt? Check this out, especially where the incident happened:

DETROIT (Bloomberg) — U.S. auto-safety regulators are scrutinizing the safety of lithium ion batteries that power electric vehicles after a Chevrolet Volt battery caught fire, people familiar with the probe said.
The regulators have approached all automakers, including General Motors, Nissan Motor Co. and Ford Motor Co., that sell or have plans to sell vehicles with lithium ion batteries with questions about the batteries’ fire risk, four people familiar with the inquiry said.
The Volt caught fire while parked at a National Highway Traffic Safety Administration testing center in Wisconsin, three weeks after a side-impact crash test, said an agency official.

@Dodgerblue: so no electric car battery has ever caught fire outside of the NHTS center? regardless, all electric car manufacturing and sales must end. right now. also, no more solar panel installations or sales ’cause they might blow up when they get all overheated from that dang-blasted sun. burn more coal and gasoline.

@Dodgerblue: Asploding li-ion batteries, you say? Been there, done that.

Well, not personally.

God did forgive him, but that has fuck-all to do with his fitness for office. After all, God forgives anyone who asks.

@nojo: I had a Dell laptop that caught fire as I was using it. I called their product support and reported that smoke was coming out of one of the little holes by the keyboard, and the support guy asked me “which hole?”

@nojo: this is not the first round of electric cars. the first round were rounded up and sent to the scrap heap in the early 80’s because they…..ssshhhh,…. be cool, don’t tell nobody…..(worked). the buyers then had to sign contracts allowing that shit to happen. ever heard of the ceramic engine developed at clemson that never needed an oil change and would run for hundreds of thousands miles without tuneups or repairs? god and that never failing free market forbid anyone ever fuck up the greatest of all american inventions: planned obsolescence.

@Dodgerblue: the one with the goddamned smoke coming out of it!!!
the original leroy mercer:
listen to his answer when the shoe store guy asks him how the shoes got wet?
john bean aka leroy mercer is from about 20 miles up 75 from here in lake city, tn. near his home is a sign outside a church that reads: if you go to hell, it’s your own fault. john bean passed away a few years ago, but his calls are legendary. please do not listen to a fraud calling himself roy d mercer who has spent too much time ripping off the original leroy mercer.

@jwmcsame: Yeah, it was kind of unclear to me why they cared. The fucking thing was on fire.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Reminds me of the Lyle Lovett song, “Jesus loves you but I don’t / He’ll forgive you but I won’t” (apologies to SFL et al for no doubt misquoting–too lazy to google).

@Mistress Cynica: “God Will” – one of the funniest fucking songs he has ever written:

(lyrics from a website, not memory)

Who keeps on trusting you
When you’ve been cheating
And spending your nights on the town
And who keeps on saying that he still wants you
When you’re through running around
And who keeps on loving you
When you’ve been lying
Saying things ain’t what they seem
God does
But I don’t
God will
But I won’t
And that’s the difference
Between God and me

So who says he’ll forgive you
And says that he’ll miss you
And dream of your sweet memory
God does
But I don’t
God will
But I won’t
And that’s the difference
Between God and me

ahh HAHAHA…i’ve been singing that to ratbastard for 3 years!
on topic, i believe in God now, or FSM if you prefer. there was no burning bush (i did have a yeast infection, you decide) it was like in “All of Me” when lily tomlin has a mystic put her into steve martin’s body. all this bad shit has been going down, so i looked him up. i still think ALL religions are bullshit, lets not get crazy, but i have been genuflecting while saying “oy vey is mir”

um, JNOV? your pill handle has me a little paranoid.

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