No, not Rick Perry. It was Ron Paul who carried the day.

(Editor’s note: no puppies were harmed in the shopping of this picture.)

Paultards pole-dance pols’ poll!

The places in this video were shot about five or six miles west of where we live. Mt Tremper was a quiet little creekside community on the way to the village of Phoenicia. It’s almost completely gone. The damage in this region is considerable. Villages have been devastated. (You’ll have to cope with the music. They mean well.)

We don’t have rivers here. They’re creeks. The creek you see raging is the Esopus. This picture was taken between Mt Tremper and Phoenicia on a sunny day in early fall. This is how it usually looks here.

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Stinque International has learned that Denmark is planning an invasion of the Arctic just as soon as the ice melts – which should be any day now – allowing access to the vast deposits of oil and natural gas known to lie north of Greenland.

What impact this will have on Santa’s Workshop remains unclear.

Given their long history of aggression against the English – can you blame them? – will the war-loving Danes be content with just the Arctic? Or should we expect to see them leapfrogging from the Faroes to Icelend, Iceland to Greenland, Greenland to… ?

Using Leif Ericson’s colonies in Labrador and Newfoundland as staging posts will we see Denmark lay claim to Canada’s eastern seaboard? Can we then expect a pincer movement of Scandinavian hotness using Greyhound buses and Amtrak to deliver an elite team of danish commandoes into the nation’s capital just in time to derail Perry’s candidacy, institute single-payer health care, and make George Will STFU?

Isn’t it time someone saved us from ourselves?

Priorities, people.

Tuna. Batteries. Gin.

Update: Cuomo has ordered a complete shutdown of all mass transit tomorrow. The Thruway and bridges into the city will be closed if winds exceed 60 mph.

Bloomberg has ordered compulsory evacuation of zone A and partial evacuation of zone B, namely the Rockaways.

I’m so glad I never ever have to go to Long Island again since my mother is no longer there. For those benighted west coasters who know no better, the Rockaways is a stretch of beach on Long Island that has become heavily built up with condo towers right on the water.

Fire Island is shut down tighter than a vicar’s sphincter. The Pines is a wasteland. Cherry Grove is fucked.

BTW. It’s pronounced eye-REEnee.

As we’re all aware, senators McCain and Graham have been harsh in their criticism of the president’s Libya strategy. Why was he coddling Qaddafi? Why didn’t he man up and take him out like a real American patriot?

Even now, when it seems a great victory has been won promising $2 gas by September, McCain and Graham congratulate our  NATO allies, even the French, but not the president.

We here at Stinque wondered why. Why such a mealy-mouthed response? Apart from the obvious reasons?

Well it seems that just two years ago McCain and Graham, with BFF Lieberman, were in Tripoli to reassure Qaddafi that support for him was building in Congress and that he need have no fear his supply of American munitions would be cut off. In fact it would be increased.

Though the delegation was no secret it seemed to have been forgotten till Wikileaks posted the cable. And now McClatchy and others have picked up on it.

(And don’t bitch at me about the picture. It was either that or dead Libyan rebels.)

Haven’t we suffered enough? And don’t we all know it’s going to get much, much worse? Meanwhile, some of our more productive members of society are doing this. I have no idea who these people are but I suspect they are not part of Team Sarah, Team Mitt, or Team Rick.

Oh, and my lawyers need to talk to Disney about copyright infringement at about the 2:35 mark, but whatever.

Next up? Hurricane Irene!

As Craig Fugate, manager of FEMA, puts it, “We don’t always get to pick the next disaster.”