Denmark Invades North Pole!

Stinque International has learned that Denmark is planning an invasion of the Arctic just as soon as the ice melts – which should be any day now – allowing access to the vast deposits of oil and natural gas known to lie north of Greenland.

What impact this will have on Santa’s Workshop remains unclear.

Given their long history of aggression against the English – can you blame them? – will the war-loving Danes be content with just the Arctic? Or should we expect to see them leapfrogging from the Faroes to Icelend, Iceland to Greenland, Greenland to… ?

Using Leif Ericson’s colonies in Labrador and Newfoundland as staging posts will we see Denmark lay claim to Canada’s eastern seaboard? Can we then expect a pincer movement of Scandinavian hotness using Greyhound buses and Amtrak to deliver an elite team of danish commandoes into the nation’s capital just in time to derail Perry’s candidacy, institute single-payer health care, and make George Will STFU?

Isn’t it time someone saved us from ourselves?


I feel like committing treason now.

My prediction? Putin will play along at the UN and quietly create facts on the ground. Denmark doesn’t stand a chance.

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