• The 9/13 Project: Sleep in.
• The 10/31 Project: Bark at kids who come to your door asking for handouts.
• The 11/2 Project: Set up Death Panels to scare the immigrant workers at the Home Depot.
• The 11/11 Project: Demand an end to socialized healthcare for veterans.
• The 11/26 Project: White meat only.
• The 11/27 Project: Curse the government that props up the banks that issue the credit cards that you’re carrying when you get trampled at Walmart.
• The 12/8 Project: Recapture the spirit Americans felt the day after Pearl Harbor; key a Prius.
• The 12/25 Project: Crucify that commie bastard who says we should love thy neighbor.

Democrats Inflate Expectations for 9/12 Rally Turnout [TPM]

Second one, I know, but he deserves it.

When someone registers a domain like glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com, they probably expect to hear from Glenn Beck’s lawyers. In this case, it took two days. The site’s anonymous operator tells Ars that the whole thing is satire—but that may not be enough to avoid charges of defamation.

A bit thin-skinned, you’ll agree.

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This might be the stupidest thing ever posted on the internet.  The Politico:

Nor are Democrats strangers to having their crazy uncles take center stage. During the run-up to the Iraq war, for example, Reps. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.), Mike Thompson (D-Calif.) and David Bonior (D-Mich.) famously flew to Baghdad, where McDermott asserted that he believed the president would “mislead the American public” to justify the war. The trip made it a cakewalk for critics to describe the Democratic Party as chockablock with traitorous radicals.

Douchebags.

GOP ‘Cranks’ Dominating Debate [The Politico]

Addison Graves “Joe” Wilson (R-SC).

Also, you need to know 14 things about our DOTD. They’re listed here.

As of 8:47 a.m. Eastern, Barack Obama will have kept us safe longer than George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.

Cheney: ‘I’m Very Proud of What We Did’ [WaPo, August 30]

All the Vice President’s Men [Stinque]

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Our Oz correspondent recommends the following two stories, with the proviso that you don’t confuse them.

In the first story, Australian jockeys are upset over new rules that limit the amount of pain and suffering encouragement they can provide their dogmeat noble steeds down the stretch. Jockey union spokesmidget Paul Innes explains:

“To burden them now with counting how many times they have used their whip, have they got another whip, have they used their whip, is unsafe and [there are] dangers to flow from that,” he said.

Even worse is the introduction of a padded whip, which isn’t nearly as fun.

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Lindsey forgot who owns his ass for a second: