Raging Bullies

I piss on you from a marginally greater height.Title: “The 48 Laws of Power”

Author: Robert Greene

Rank: 88

Blurb: “For those who want power, watch power, or want to arm themselves against power, The 48 Laws of Power is ‘The Rules for suits’.”

Review: “It does not matter if you want to play the game or not, you are in it.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Art Of War” by Sun Tzu

Footnote: There is only one law of power: Those who possess it will wield it to their advantage. The rest is footnotes.

The 48 Laws of Power [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Carpe Diem, Bitch

Do dogs get brain freezes? Apparently not.

[via Sully]

You Are Old: A Continuing Series

Kids today will never have the experience of being at home, listening to the radio, hearing “I’ll take the second caller,” and instantly knowing you’re totally fucked.

[via Know Your Meme]

Seven of Them Dirty

100. “Onomatopoeia”Title: “First 100 Words”

Author: Roger Priddy

Rank: 17

Blurb: “Your little one will soon learn some essential first words and pictures with this bright board book.”

Review: “Great portable, chew- and eating-resistant picture book.”

Customers Also Bought: “Caza Trail Single Serve Cup for Keurig K-Cup Brewers”

Footnote: Vince Grove taught us “fuck” in third grade. Hilarity Ensued when Mom arrived to pick us up from the playground, and Vince tried to snitch on us while we loudly talked over him. For some reason we remained friends with Vince for three more years.

First 100 Words [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Office Space

Next time you’re stuck in a deadly long and boring conference call, just try to visualize it happening in real time and in real space.

Bathroom Reading

Shit or get off the pot, kid.Title: “Potty”

Author: Leslie Patricelli

Rank: 83

Blurb: “There comes a point in a toddler’s life when going in one’s diaper is only one possible option.”

Reviews:

“Bought this book to add to our potty book collection.”

“It isn’t very interesting and the plot of the story makes no sense.”

“The expressions of surprise and then joy on the baby’s face when his patience finally pays off are great.”

Read more »

Hitchcock Remake Stars Amy Adams as Tippi Hedren

“Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you’re the cause of all of this. I think you’re evil. EVIL!”

[HuffPo, via BobCens]

Update: Four Disappearing YouTube Links later, we’ve given up chasing copies that haven’t been removed. Enjoy the version at Gawker, which isn’t afraid of hosting its own theft.