Dick Van Patten (1928-2015)

Dick_Van_Patten

Just Like That Time You Left the Coffee on the Car

Don’t worry, everything’s cool — we strongly doubt they would have posted it without a happy ending.

[via Kottke]

Downfall for Kids!

And your little schnauzer, too.Title: “Hitler’s Last Days: The Death of the Nazi Regime and the World’s Most Notorious Dictator”

Author: Bill O’Reilly

Rank: 83

Blurb: “Facing defeat, Adolf Hitler flees to a secret bunker with his new wife, Eva Braun, and his beloved dog, Blondi.”

Wait. What. Blondi? “Adapted from Bill O’Reilly’s historical thriller Killing Patton, this book will have young readers — and grown-ups too — hooked on history.”

Review: “The title is a little misleading as this book covers General Patton more than it does Hitler.”

Bonus Batshit Review: “If as I suspect O’Reilly is telling us that Hitler and Eva Braun died in a bunker, then this is just propaganda. Bill O’Reilly is nothing more than a disinformation specialist. Many new books have come out in the last five years proving that Hitler and Braun made it to Argentina in a submarine. There are written documents and photographs. He lived his life out there in South America. The US GOVT knew all about it and could not do anything. The Nazis brought great wealth with them and Argentina welcomed them. This book should be discontinued. Go read the real histories you will find here at Amazon Books.”

Customers Also Bought: “The O’Reilly Factor for Kids”

Footnote: Learning that Hitler had a beloved dog certainly helps humanize the guy.

Hitler’s Last Days [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

GoT Milked

Winter Sale is Coming.Title: “The World of Ice & Fire: The Untold History of Westeros and the Game of Thrones”

Authors: George R. R. Martin, Elio Garcia, Linda Antonsson

Rank: 89

Blurb: “In a collaboration that’s been years in the making, Martin has teamed with Elio M. García, Jr., and Linda Antonsson, the founders of the renowned fan site Westeros.org — perhaps the only people who know this world almost as well as its visionary creator.”

Review: “This is not Book 6 in the series, nor should it be seen as a substitute for it. It’s also not the Silmarillion. That is, it’s not a detailed and exhaustive narrative on what has come before Books 1-5. It’s a coffee table book with gorgeous artwork and some tidbits of information on the world of Westeros, most of which will be posted in various wiki entries for free within 60 days.”

Customers Also Bought: “Monopoly: Game of Thrones Collector’s Edition Board Game”, “Game of Thrones: House Sigil Coaster Set”, “Game of Thrones: Stark Direwolf”, “Funko POP Game of Thrones: White Walker Vinyl Figure”, “Game of Thrones Hand of King Pin”, “Allntrends Women’s V Shirt Mother Of Dragons”, and “A Feast of Ice and Fire: The Official Game of Thrones Companion Cookbook”

Footnote: We hear that Roast Shireen is delicious.

The World of Ice & Fire [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

It’s Not Easy Being Gringo

Oaf Wiedersehen.Title: “Adios, America”

Author: Ann Coulter

Rank: 16

Blurb: “If we cave to the Democrats’ scheme to bring in 30 million new liberal voters, we lose on everything else, too, from the economy to social issues to foreign policy to constitutionalism, to the very identity of our nation.”

Review: “Who made this decision, that Whites cannot have a country for themselves?”

Customers Also Bought: “‘Don’t Make the Black Kids Angry': The hoax of black victimization and those who enable it”

Footnote: Whatever happened to the Republicans’ scheme to bring in 30 million new social-conservative voters?

Adios, America [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Smells Like Geek Spirit

Elongated Man.Title: “Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future”

Author: Ashlee Vancen

Rank: 47

Blurb: “Vance spent more than 30 hours in conversation with Musk and interviewed close to 300 people to tell the tumultuous stories of Musk’s world-changing companies: PayPal, Tesla Motors, SpaceX and SolarCity, and to characterize a man who has renewed American industry and sparked new levels of innovation while making plenty of enemies along the way.”

Review: “There are three books that a true geek should read at least once… Actually, I am not a true geek so I just made that up.”

Customers Also Bought: “Sam Walton: Made In America”

Footnote: The Musk Cult runs strong in Geekdom, but merging with PayPal and then flipping it to eBay isn’t the kind of Not-Founder’s Story that inspires us, and for $71,070, your hip electric car damn well better work. Get back to us when you’ve done something that actually changes our life.

Elon Musk [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Misconstruction

Tinkerpreneur, Tailorpreneur, Soldierpreneur, Spypreneur.Title: “Who Built That: Awe-Inspiring Stories of American Tinkerpreneurs”

Author: Michelle Malkin

Rank: 48

Blurb: “In July 2012, President Obama infamously proclaimed: ‘If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.’ Malkin wholeheartedly disagrees.”

Review: “Just purchased this for my grandsons summer reading list. I supplement their schooling with homeschooling especially in the summer. While polecats / political bureaucrats are working to tear boys and men down I want to fuel them with positive examples to encourage them and help build their character.”

Customers Also Bought: “EMP: Equipping Modern Patriots: A Story of Survival (Volume 1)”

Footnote: We live in a post-context world, so there’s no point explaining what Obama actually said. Instead we applaud Malkin for coining one of the most awkward marketing terms we’ve heard in awhile.

Who Built That [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]