Assholes

DID RUSSIAN AGENT FUCKFACE Von CLOWNSTICK DIRECT FLYNN TO SUCK OFF THE RUSSIANS AND HIDE THE BLOW JOB FROM PENCE?

TRUMP IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HUMANITY!

DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see Putincakes?

Per usual the American press gets it completely sideways when confronted by complete and UTTER FUCKING EVIL.

Trumpligula’s first official act as president is to praise a criminally insane Soviet-era communist party psychopath who has gotten control of Kazakhstan where the Trump operation is likely providing laundering services for organized crime.

Then Flynn has a mysterious conversation with a Russian ambassador to assure him of policy changes he can count on under a Trumpligula administration. Reporters are all over themselves pointing out inconsistencies in the statements by Melissa McCarthy impersonator Sean Spicer and insane crack-addled harpy face-biter Kellyann Conway.

Not a month into the Reign of Fuckface, US intelligence agencies are putting the White House on blackout status because the fucking place is so obviously owned by the fucking FSB.

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Hey, Allah! BLOW ME!

Sorry, I can’t draw.

Why Is Mike Lee Such An Asshole?

I Have No Idea What This Is Supposed To MeanIt’s a question I’m sure we’ve all asked ourselves at some point but I think it bears repeating: why is he such an asshole?

Was his brain starved of oxygen at some critical juncture? Is it all an elaborate joke and he’s really Abby Hoffman? I once spent six weeks in Salt Lake City so I’m something of an expert on all things Utahan and I see no rational explanation for him. If he’d been born in, say, Oregon then you might be able to point to some geographical factor like the misalignment of electromagnetic poles at work. Or a childhood spent too close to high-voltage power lines. But in my time at SLC I didn’t actually witness anyone out on the streets howling at the moon. Mind you, they did remove all the mail boxes from city streets after the Trade Center attack and in 2003 they still hadn’t been replaced. So there was that.

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Today in Yuck

Utah GOP and Tea Party activist Greg Peterson has been accused of raping four different women, including raping two of them at his cabin/McMansion where he hosted multiple fundraisers and events for conservative politicians.  When he wasn’t hobnobing with the likes of Senators Orrin Hatch and Mike Lee, Peterson, 37, was busy serially date-raping women he met at church or online, according to charges filed by the Salt Lake County District Attorney’s Office.

Peterson is a business owner who has organized several Rocky Mountain Conservative Conventions, which he said was “the CPAC of the West.”  Peterson has described himself as a “close personal friend of the Romney family” and was listed as a co-chairman of 2007 and 2011 fundraising events.  He said he befriended Tagg and Josh Romney at BYU, became friends with the rest of the Romney family during the 2002 Winter Olympics and had been in each of their homes.

Peterson is charged with two counts of aggravated kidnapping, three counts of rape, seven counts of object rape, and one count of forcible sexual abuse, all first-degree felonies (the rape and kidnapping charges carry sentences of up to life in prison); nine second-degree felony counts of forcible sexual abuse; one third-degree felony count of burglary; and one count each of assault and sexual battery, both misdemeanors.  His first court appearance is set for Monday.  Needless to say politicians are running in the opposite direction.

Yucky details after the jump. Read more »

In Those Few Minutes When the Mandate Was No More …

Let’s all laugh at Mean Jean Schmidt:

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On Occasion, Even Satan is Not TOTALLY Above the Law

TSA agents at LaGuardia were spotted last Friday giving the “Full Monty Patdown” (whatever the fuck that means) to notorious war criminal Henry Kissinger, as he sat in a wheelchair at security. Apparently none of the 9 buck an hour rent-a-cops recognized him or knew who he was, even after he told them who he was.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAA-HHHHAAAAA!

It won’t make up for the thousands murdered in Cambodia, Vietnam, or Chile, but it’s a start.

[WaPo: Henry Kissinger Gets TSA Pat-Down]

Tweeting Dick Photos Seems So Quaint

Oregon Congressman David Wu (D), already under fire for behavior that one could generously describe as “erratic,” is now in a smoking pile of dog shit.  The Portland Oregonian is reporting that earlier this year, the high school aged daughter of one of his friends and campaign donors contacted his office and accused him of sexually assaulting her over Thanksgiving weekend at a family event.  When confronted by his staff, he said it was a consensual sexual encounter.  Sort of like the one in 1976 where he was disciplined by Stanford University for trying to rape his ex-girlfriend?

According to sources, the young woman did not contact police because she felt that there was not enough evidence of an assault, and it was her word against a seven-term Congressman.  Frankly, if I were in the jury, that would make her all the more believable.

[Oregonian]