Good morning Stinquers! Serolf here. Been up for a while already, surfing the web for headlines so you don’t have to. Providing a service so you don’t have to waste hours trolling cyberspace. I’ve found the best headlines this morning and discarded the rest. And by best, of course, I mean the most awful, cryptic, tasteless and sad.
Let’s begin with the New York Post, which this morning informs us: “‘O TO EUROS’ BE MES AMIS AGAIN.” Yes, in the mind of some editor at the New York Post, that random grouping letters bi-sected by colon conveys information. But to everyone else, I wager, it’s like a word scramble where all the letters are in the right place and it still makes fuck all sense. Oh, “mes amis” is French? Oh, the word “euros” does not refer to the currency? Er, whatever. Maybe it’s in code… Rupert Murdoch’s secret wingnut code. They send you the decoder ring with your subscription, I’ll bet.

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MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
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