Don’t tell anyone, but we have this great reality show we’ll be pitching next year: Who Wants to Be a President? Set to debut in 2011, it consists of all our favorite Republicans, debating each other every week to see who can produce the smelliest dungheap. The winner gets a flaming bag of his or her own shit delivered to the doorstep in November 2012 — and a lucky viewer gets to ring the doorbell!

We’ve been secretly signing up potential participants, and we’re proud to announce that Rick Santorum (R-Frothy Fecal Matter) has joined our cause:

Read more »

Patrick Swayze Dies After Long Battle with Cancer [KTLA]

Max Blumenthal finds some Teabaggers – including the “diper” guy:

In the new Atlantic, Christopher Hitchens is tired of all the adoration received by America’s Favorite Fake Newscaster:

Immediately following the death of Walter Cronkite, Time magazine took an online poll to determine who was now “America’s most trusted newscaster.” Seven percent of those responding named Katie Couric. Nineteen percent nominated Charles Gibson. Twenty-nine percent went for Brian Williams. But the clear winner, garnering 44 percent, was Jon Stewart of The Daily Show. Either I missed it, or the poll failed to specify, in that wonderfully reassuring way that polls purport to do, what had been its “margin of error.”

Or it was, y’know, an online poll, which is 100% Accurate of visitors clicking buttons. Which is the first indication that Hitch is phoning this one in from the club.

Read more »

I can understand a bit of exaggeration, but thirtyfold?

Conservative activists, who organized a march on the U.S. Capitol today in protest of the Obama administration’s health care agenda and government spending, erroneously attributed reports on the size of the crowds to ABC News.

Nobody could have predicted …

Read more »