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Unto us an Ironist is born.

Irony never died, of course. It never does. Irony is a fundamental organizing principle of civilization, as necessary to our communal survival as agriculture and fluffy toilet paper. Without irony, life itself would be impossible. Or, at the very least, insufferable.

Yet it was only a year ago that the Death of Irony was again proclaimed, its high priests and low jokers pointedly asked to justify their existence in the dawning Age of Unicorn. On or about November 4, 2008, human nature had changed, and Ironists would be as useless as Karl Rove’s conscience.

That moment has long since passed. But with Barack Obama today accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, heralded by a Russian missile, and following his announcement of tens of thousands of additional American troops not-occupying Afghanistan for years to come, we choose this occasion to celebrate renewal. Irony is dead! Long live Irony!

It is our good fortune to have a President who recognizes this, and who will make the point himself during his acceptance speech. No ginned-up aircraft-carrier landings for him. For if there is one thing that is truly postmodern about Obama, it’s that he gets it.

War president will address incongruity of accepting peace prize [WaPo]

Strange light in Norwegian sky sparks mystery [Telegraph UK]

Now with extra stupid:

After you.

We drive a Civic, use curly-fry lightbulbs, recycle everything in sight. But we’re American, and, well, we have our limits:

Greenpeace has come up with a “toilet paper guide,” which looks at recycled content and the use of chlorine bleaches.

“When you’re doing your grocery shopping or just stopping by the corner store to grab a roll of toilet paper, make an informed decision as both a consumer and someone concerned about the world’s ancient forests,” the guide advises.

Look, we feel really bad when a centuries-old tree goes up our butt, but when you put it this way — “Do we really need toilet paper to be as soft as it can be, or do we need it just soft enough?” — we’ll let someone else grab the catalog. We’ve done our share.

Soft toilet paper becomes target of environmentalists [McClatchy]

Sorry about that, Commander-in-Chief.

We’re sure there’s a good reason for this, but we’re getting tired of stumbling across news that opens as such:

The Obama administration has asked an appeals court to dismiss a lawsuit accusing former Bush administration attorney John Yoo of authorizing the torture of a terrorism suspect, saying federal law does not allow damage claims against lawyers who advise the president on national security issues.

Such lawsuits ask courts to second-guess presidential decisions and pose “the risk of deterring full and frank advice regarding the military’s detention and treatment of those determined to be enemies during an armed conflict,” Justice Department lawyers said Thursday in arguments to the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco.

The government argues that the Office of Professional Responsibility will take care of slapping Yoo’s wrists, including the stern action of recommending bar association discipline, and victims of war crimes should be satisfied with that.

The unthinkable alternative would be that those responsible for the deliberate, cynical undermining of the nation’s laws against torture would be held accountable for their criminal actions, upsetting the delicate balance of justice that mandates scapegoating as far down the chain of command as possible.

White House wants suit against Yoo dismissed [SF Chronicle]

How's that Taitz working out for ya?You don’t mess around with the American auto industry without encountering some flak. Two former Chrysler dealers are challenging the federal government’s authority to restructure them out of business. It’s a complicated case, regarding the reach of the TARP program and whether it applies to manufacturers.

Oh, and this:

As part of the demand for information about the authority used, [attorney Leo] Donofrio confirmed, there will be questions about Obama’s eligibility to be president. Donofrio contends that since by Obama’s own admission his father never was a U.S. citizen, Obama was born a dual citizen. The framers of the Constitution, he argues, did not consider a dual citizen to be a “natural born citizen” as required for the presidency.

We hope the dealers bought the extended warranty from their lawyers. Because as things stand, this case will likely break down five minutes after they drive it off the lot.

Closed Chrysler dealers to drive Obama’s eligibility [WND]

That trick never works.Sometime over the summer, it was suggested that the Democrats should aim for decent health-insurance reform, since the Public Option (itself a pre-compromise of Single Payer or Medicare for All) was likely to get twisted out of recognition, if not existence.

Tuesday night’s developments — regarding the Gang of Ten senators, selected by Harry Reid to conjure a 60-vote solution to the healthcare bill, which is on the Senate floor and still needs to survive a filibuster to reach an actual vote, after which it will go to a conference committee to iron out differences with the House bill, and then…

THUMP.

Er, sorry. Could somebody help carry that reader out of the room? Thank you.

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AutoTune gives us a taste of teh suck of 2009:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2zxtDh0wlM