While we’re drowning our sorrows over Orly’s loss in California, it turns out — there’s another:

The peculiar ideology of Sharron Angle, the Republican nominee challenging Sen. Harry Reid in Nevada, is perhaps no better illustrated than by her embrace of the patriot group Oath Keepers, whose membership of uniformed soldiers and police take an oath to refuse orders they see as unconstitutional — including enforcement of gun laws, violations of states’ sovereignty, and “any order to blockade American cities, thus turning them into giant concentration camps.”

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On behalf of a nation of bloggers, thank you Flying Spag—

Hold on… What? Who?

Former NFL player Damon Dunn has won the Republican nomination for California secretary of state.

Dunn defeated Orange County lawyer Orly Taitz in Tuesday’s primary, and will face incumbent Democrat Debra Bowen in the general election in November.

Dunn is a self-described “recovering nonvoter” who hadn’t cast a ballot in an election until 2009. He had said his failure to vote would help him reach out to other nonvoters and inspire them to get involved.

Well, folks, this is what it’s come to: Any other year, we’d be creaming our jeans for a candidate like that.

Dunn to face Bowen for Calif secretary of state [AP/San Jose Mercury-News]

It’s a big Primary night across the country, with twelve states vying for Keith & Rachel’s attention, including Nevada (chickens!) and California (sheep!). We don’t think there will be any surprises, but just in case, we’re keeping our asses covered with this Open Thread/Shearing Party.

Your Closing Times nationwide:

7 pm: South Carolina, Georgia, Virginia
8 pm: Maine, New Jersey
8:30 pm: Arkansas
9 pm: North Dakota, South Dakota
10 pm: Iowa, Montana, Nevada
11 pm: California

We apologize for not having any drinking games to suggest, although Hemlock is always in style.

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“A decade ago, U.S. government regulators warned that a major deepwater oil spill could start with a fire on a drilling rig, prove hard to stop and cause extensive damage to fish eggs and wetlands because there were few good ways to capture oil underwater.” Oh, but that was Shell, not BP. And it was 2000, before Cheney. Never mind. [McClatchy]

It’s a new era in, um, target marketing:

At the Blackwater Pro Shops in Fayetteville, North Carolina and Salem, Connecticut, you can “purchase clothing and equipment emblazoned with the logo,” the Solider Systems blog explains. “If that doesn’t get your blood pumping you can also try out your new firearms at their indoor range.”

Customer tip: Avoid the Genius Bar.

Retail Guns-for-Hire: Blackwater Opens Storefronts [Wired]

Blackwater Pro Shop

Update: Next time you drop by the Blackwater Pro Shop, you might want to make an offer on Blackwater itself.

Sayonara: Blackwater puts itself up for sale [AP/Raw Story]

“Man and machine can now be linked more intimately than ever, according to a new article in the journal ACS Nano Letters. Scientists have embedded a nano-sized transistor inside a cell-like membrane and powered it using the cell’s own fuel.” [Discovery News, via Kottke]

Will the new iPhone get me laid?

No.

Will the new iPhone make my enemies’ heads explode with the touch of a button?

No.

If I hold the new iPhone up to a mirror while using video chat, will I be zapped into a cosmic vortex?

Singularity Transposition is only available in Europe; standard data rates apply.

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