The State of the Union address is one of our grandest political traditions.

It is also one of the silliest.

It begins with Honorable Congresscritters jockeying for aisle position where the Preznident walks in, the better to be caught on camera in the presence of American power. It continues with the ritual standing ovations from one half of the room or the other, plus the obligatory cutaways to Humble Citizens mentioned in the laundry-list speech. Finally, everyone sits on edge to hear whether the State of our Union is, indeed, strong, which would be the only surprise of the evening if it wasn’t.

Not only is it silly, it’s completely unnecessary.

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However you game it — impeachment, resignation, 25th Amendment, cholesterol poisoning, capture by flying monkeys — the one person who stands to immediately benefit from Donald Trump’s involuntary rapture is Mike Pence.

And honestly, that would be fine with us. Mike Pence may be evil, but he’s conventionally evil, predictably evil, the kind of evil that doesn’t make you seriously question whether humanity itself will survive him. We can work with that.

Pence is also smart as a weasel, ably distancing himself from the chaos surrounding his boss. He has no role, public or rumored, in the mess that’s unfolding, aside from being pissed that a notorious liar would, heaven forfend, lie to him. Mike Pence is stalwartly Above the Fray.

But when the moment comes for Mike Pence to step up and lead America out of its latest national nightmare, there’s just one problem:

He’s complicit.

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Insane freakish sex goblin and fascist propagandist Roger Ailes is going the fuck down as the feds are investigating the countless cases in which Fox News has had to pay off employees millions upon millions of dollars for Ailes’ mashing. lued innuendo and sexual extortion.

The Hollywood Reporter is reporting this week: “On Wednesday, during a hearing regarding former Fox News personality Andrea Tantaros’ lawsuit against network executives before New York Supreme Court Judge David Benjamin Cohen, an attorney for Tantaros said he’d been served with a subpoena by federal prosecutors investigating sexual harassment allegations directed at Ailes. Tantaros, who once served as a co-host of the afternoon show The Five, alleges in her lawsuit that Fox News “operated like a sex-fueled, Playboy Mansion-like cult.”

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DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see the Bank of Japan? Oh, FUCK! DUCKY! get them on the phone!

Barking mad trust-fund twit and Kremlin chewtoy TRUMPLIGULA! is managing to precipitate the bankruptcy of the USA! in just a matter of weeks by terrorizing creditors who’ve been faithful holders of US treasury debt for decades.

Bloomberg reports this week: “From Tokyo to Beijing and London, the consensus is clear: few overseas investors want to step into the $13.9 trillion U.S. Treasury market right now. Whether it’s the prospect of bigger deficits and more inflation under President Donald Trump or higher interest rates from the Federal Reserve, the world’s safest debt market seems less of a sure thing — particularly after the upswing in yields since November. And then there is Trump’s penchant for saber rattling, which has made staying home that much easier.”

TRUMPLIGULA!’s plan for USA! finances has never been clearer – and it is exactly the same as it has been for all of fuckface’s other ill-fated shithouse enterprises: bankrupt the fucking thing and rape the creditors all the way to bankruptcy court.

Von CLOWNSTICK has made his plans abundantly clear.

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DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see Putincakes?

Per usual the American press gets it completely sideways when confronted by complete and UTTER FUCKING EVIL.

Trumpligula’s first official act as president is to praise a criminally insane Soviet-era communist party psychopath who has gotten control of Kazakhstan where the Trump operation is likely providing laundering services for organized crime.

Then Flynn has a mysterious conversation with a Russian ambassador to assure him of policy changes he can count on under a Trumpligula administration. Reporters are all over themselves pointing out inconsistencies in the statements by Melissa McCarthy impersonator Sean Spicer and insane crack-addled harpy face-biter Kellyann Conway.

Not a month into the Reign of Fuckface, US intelligence agencies are putting the White House on blackout status because the fucking place is so obviously owned by the fucking FSB.

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In the first three weeks of the Trump administration, we have learned not to trust anything its representatives say.

This comes as no surprise.

To add an additional degree of civic epistemology, we have also learned not to trust anything they say about anything they said. For anyone speaking with Trump’s authority, truth is an undiscovered country.

Which is why, when we are told that this week’s raids on undocumented immigrants are merely a continuation of Obama’s policy, we have no reason not to conclude that such explanations are total bullshit.

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DUCKY! DUCKY, DID YOU SEE MY DRAPES? NO! OH, DUCKY, COME WITH ME AND SEE MY DRAPES!

The New York Times spent last week ringing the switch board at the White House asking for random extensions and giving anyone who answered the phone a chance to tell their reporters what a complete piece of shit Trump is and everyone had a story to tell.

Why?

Because this piece of shit is a FUCKING! MORON! and if you’re not calling everyone from the dog catcher to the president of the EU asking for TRUMPLIGULA! to be banished to Angola, you’re part of the problem.

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