CNN reported today that insane tiny-headed Melissa McCarthy impersonator and White House goblin Sean Spicer is now claiming Kremlin chew toy Trump’s unsubstantiated allegation that President Barack Obama wiretapped his phones in Trump Tower during the 2016 election is not really an allegation that President Barack Obama wiretapped his phones in Trump Tower during the 2016 election.

Everyone in the fucking universe misunderstood the Kremlin chew toy because he is so difficult to understand with Vladimir Putin’s dick in his mouth.

Insane tiny-headed Melissa McCarthy impersonator and White House goblin Sean Spicer said Trump wasn’t referring to wiretapping when he tweeted about wiretapping.

Read more »

So, like, what is the big deal with an ‘OFFICIAL’ Ayatollah in Istanbul shooting people in the face that don’t agree that Sharia is the law of the land? It’s good enough for the Saudis and we support their attacks on the US since 9/11, right?

Kremlin Chew Toy Mike Flynn not only gave Russian Ambassador to the USA! Sergey Kislyak his 145th secret diplomatic blow job of the campaign last year to pay for Russian attacks on Hillary Clinton’s campaign, he performed the thrilling act of oral sex while giving Turkish Islamist tyrants a $560,000 handjob, expressed as opinion articles exhorting AMERICA! to support this islamist wackjob shithouse of a government.

The question that this latest revelation suggests is: exactly which twisted government, extremist cult or organized crime ring has not paid off one or all of TRUMPLIGULA!’s operatives?

Read more »

1. Watch this! It’s adorable!

2. Did you see how he shoved his daughter out of the way? If a woman did that, she would be accused of child abuse!

3. The desperate nanny is everything that’s wrong with patriarchal society.

Read more »

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.

And Madness is sanity.

In the years we’ve been promoting this joint, we actually had a Preznident who knew something about the subject — who knew many things about many subjects, which is kinda what you want in a Preznident, or someone near him.

And now we have a failed owner of a failed football team in a failed league, who very likely knows less about Sport than we do, and definitely knows less about everything else.

And you know what? We’re fine with him not caring. This may be the only escape America can enjoy for the duration.

So while Our Exceptional Republic’s leaders are crafting charts showing how quickly they can funnel money to the top of society, you’re invited to once again show the world how quickly you can fall to the bottom of the Stinque Braquet, hosted as always by Braquet Dowager Mellbell.

Read more »

This should finally move a few GOP congress critters who aren’t senescent or barking mad to move to impeach. Shouting conspiracy theories from the White House in a bathrobe is where the line should be drawn between eccentric leadership and unacceptable lunacy that is threatening to the life and authority of the Republic.

Our guest interlocutors are John Dean and Richard Nixon, speaking in the Oval Office on March 21, 1973. Their conversation has been condensed for obvious pointed contemporary comparison.

DEAN:
I think, I think that, uh, there’s no doubt about the seriousness of the problem we’re, we’ve got. We have a cancer — within, close to the Presidency, that’s growing. It’s growing daily. It’s compounding, it grows geometrically now because it compounds itself. Uh, that’ll be clear as I explain you know, some of the details, uh, of why it is, and it basically is because (1) we’re being blackmailed; (2) uh, people are going to start perjuring themselves very quickly that have not had to perjure themselves to protect other people and the like. And that is just — and there is no assurance—

PRESIDENT:
That it won’t bust.

DEAN:
That, that it won’t bust.

PRESIDENT:
True.

Read more »

We posit plausible scientific theses!
You decide!

The criminally insane whack job that is wandering around the White House in his bathrobe babbling to himself and plotting revenge against everyone in AMERICA! who has refused to publicly swear allegiance to his throne is obviously suffering deep and incurable mental illness.

If CNN reported tomorrow that Precedent von Clownstick was found eating his own arm and laying in his own feces on the floor of the oval office with a greased woodchuck stuck in his ass, no one anywhere would be surprised. Anyone who’s read the newspapers in the last month would shrug.

Read more »