We have no business being in Afghanistan.

Almost ten years in, that’s not a particularly bold statement. Ten years ago, we may have preferred an investigation to an invasion. Eight years ago, we may have preferred keeping our eyes on the prize, instead of diverting our attention to Iraq. If we were a close student of the situation, we might offer any number of substantial reasons why our adventure there is a bust.

But what finally settles our judgment is a simple point: We can’t handle the responsibility.

We, meaning We Americans. That our government can’t handle it was proven years ago.

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“Once something is online, it can be very difficult, if not impossible, to delete. So tweaking one’s online reputation usually boils down to gaming the search engines.” [NYT]

Also useful: Having a name so ridiculously common that it’s shared by a wacky Senator from Utah.

There was a segment on MSNBC yesterday morning about Bethenny Frankel.  She is a self-help guru. She is a “celebrity natural food chef.” She is a Real Housewife of New York. And she is really fucking annoying.

But how annoying is she, really? Incredibly annoying? She’s certainly no Paris Hilton. Moderately annoying?  Heidi Montag and Justin Bieber fill that role every day.  What we need people, is a scale. We need a shorthand. We should be able to say: “He’s Larry King annoying” and have others understand what we mean. So here are a few modest suggestions, starting with the least-annoying annoying person:

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“Charlie Sheen unleashed his Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour on the Motor City on Saturday night before a crowd that greeted the actor with an adoring standing ovation and concluded with booing and walk-outs.” [Entertainment Weekly]

Title: “Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln: 21 Powerful Secrets of History’s Greatest Speakers”

Author: James C. Humes

Rank: 88

Blurb: “Ever wish you could captivate your boardroom with the opening line of your presentation, like Winston Churchill in his most memorable speeches?”

Review: “Each chapter of the book is divided into chapters that start with the word power.”

Customers Also Bought: “On Speaking Well”, by Peggy Noonan

Footnote: Endorsed by Chris Matthews and Roger Ailes. Which explains everything.

Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

Let us begin by acknowledging that burning books isn’t a particularly Enlightened thing to do. Nor is it practically effective: Where centuries ago you might stand a chance of torching an entire print run, today your chances of removing the suspect document from existence are practically nil.

Any residual value a book-burning has today is totally symbolic: You’re making a statement. And what that statement amounts to is usually this: I am the kind of person who burns books.

Which we think adequately describes Terry Jones of Florida.

Terry Jones burned a book a few weeks ago. As it happens, that book was the Koran.

And by now, you probably know the rest of the story.

It can be argued that Terry Jones set off a chain of events that culminated in the murders of twenty-one innocent people (so far) in Afghanistan. It can be argued that Terry Jones is responsible for those murders. If Terry Jones hadn’t burned that book, those twenty-one people would still be alive.

The first and third of those statements are true.

But they don’t demonstrate the second.

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We’ve been saying for a quarter-century that Americans are Aggressively Ignorant: It’s not that they can’t handle the truth, they just don’t want to know it. Fox News exploits that information gap, not by being deliberately misleading — well, lying, to be honest about it — but by telling its audience what they want to hear. First rule of business: Find a need and fill it.

CNN, on the other hand, still styles itself “The Most Trusted Name in News”. Which makes this one of the most self-damning headlines they’ve ever run:

CNN Poll: Americans flunk budget IQ test

In particular, this item was getting some attention Friday:

According to our poll the public estimates that the government spent five percent of its budget last year on public television and radio.

Not even close. The real answer is about one-tenth of one percent.

Not even close! Stupid, stupid public! Where do you pick up such foolish ideas, anyway?

We don’t have Jon Stewart’s squad of interns to review every second of coverage the past few weeks since the O’Keefe video put NPR in the crosshairs, but let’s see what we can find at the CNN Transcripts site by searching all their news programs for NPR stories…

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