Let’s Get Lost

We have no business being in Afghanistan.

Almost ten years in, that’s not a particularly bold statement. Ten years ago, we may have preferred an investigation to an invasion. Eight years ago, we may have preferred keeping our eyes on the prize, instead of diverting our attention to Iraq. If we were a close student of the situation, we might offer any number of substantial reasons why our adventure there is a bust.

But what finally settles our judgment is a simple point: We can’t handle the responsibility.

We, meaning We Americans. That our government can’t handle it was proven years ago.

We wrote over the weekend that we can’t blame Terry Jones for the murders in Afghanistan subsequent to his Koran-burning. And we can’t. As much as we’d love to nail the bastard, we really can’t.

But in explaining why we can’t, we mentioned in passing the example of the Guantanamo Koran-flushing a few years ago — which also led to violent deaths Over There. The American government bore some responsibility for those deaths, we judged, because the American government is occupying Afghanistan.

Upon reflection, this may be too fine a point. After all, it’s all America to them. At least for as long as we pretend to be a democracy.

So let’s review the case again: Under what circumstances might we blame Terry Jones for the events inspired by his action?

And our answer is this: As an American, Terry Jones is to blame for murders committed in his name in an American-occupied Muslim country.

Which is why we have no business being there.

As we heathens and infidels have learned all too well over the past decade, substantial numbers of Muslims take their Book and their Prophet very seriously — so seriously that received insults are a grave matter. For present purposes, we take no issue with this. It’s their faith — and if we’re going to bother with occupying a Muslim country, the least we could do is respect it.

Only we can’t. Because, well, we’re Americans.

And as Americans, one of the freedoms we cherish, one of the freedoms some us hold most dear above all others, one of the freedoms some of us would famously defend to the death, is Freedom of Speech.

Speech that includes being able to say Cock Shit Motherfucker in a public forum without fear of government reprisal. Speech that includes symbolic gestures such as, oh, burning an American flag.

And speech that includes burning a Koran because we’re a fucking asshole.

That’s who we are — as Americans. We’re not polite. We get in each other’s faces. We don’t respect each other’s faiths. Sometimes we get damn nasty about it.

And because of who we are, we have no fucking business occupying a country where we can’t be who we are. If we, as Americans, have to walk on eggshells in Florida or California because somebody might get violently pissed in Kandahar, then it’s time to just back the fuck away.

Terry Jones is still a fucking asshole. But as an American, Terry Jones has every right to be a fucking asshole. As do we all. And if that causes problems with America’s Foreign Entanglements, it’s high time we untangle ourselves.