So, Geezer said that he is going to “whip [Black Eagle’s] you-know-what in this debate” coming up on Wednesday. Those clowns can’t even play the expectations game right.

On the evidence, unless Bob Schieffer totally decides to suckerpunch Hopey — literally, come up from behind the desk and whomp him — Obama/Biden is looking at a four-for-four sweep. In which case, absent the effect of the inevitable bin Laden mix tape and the “Obama was a coke-snorter” ad, we might be down to — well, allow me to suggest the one awesome West Wing clip that RomeGirl missed, to be re-enacted by Claire McCaskill after the debate…

[Of course, I will now go outside, turn around three times and spit, in order to appease the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing.]

My favorite contest EVAR:

An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for “The Last Days of Pompeii” (1834), which has been made into a movie three times, originating the expression “the pen is mightier than the sword,” and phrases like “the great unwashed” and “the almighty dollar,” Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the “Peanuts” beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

The culprit:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

–Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

My favorites from the 2008 results after the jump.

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Malice makes the heart grow fonder for medieval torture devices:

“I think there have been quite a few reporters recently,” said Mr. McCain’s closest adviser, Mark Salter, “who have sort of implied, or made more than implications, that somehow we’re responsible for the occasional nut who shows up and yells something about Barack Obama.”

If the occasional nut you’re talking about is Sarah Palin, then yes.

Concern in G.O.P. After Rough Week for McCain [NYT]

From the guy who’s going to solve the financial mess:

Today, the McCain campaign released a list of “100 distinguished and experienced economists” signing onto a statement declaring that “Barack Obama’s economic proposals are wrong for the American economy.” However, as TNR points out, only 90 names appear on the list, not 100. What’s more, a full 11 of those economists are McCain economic advisers. The list of “100″ even includes Douglas Holtz-Eakin, McCain’s chief economic adviser and one of his most visible spokesmen.

A McCain presidency might be a bigger comedy feast than the Boy King’s.

I can’t wrap my head around what’s happening in the world, and everything is scary and dark and cold. Nothing makes sense.  So, I’m retreating into my happy place – West Wing DVDs on constant loop until November 4.  Join me behind the jump, and pretend with me that everything is right and good, won’t you?
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We were going to convene a roundtable discussion with Yoda Pez and Cat Stick on the pressing issues facing our Republic, when we realized at the last minute that Cat Stick doesn’t talk. He just stares at you with those imploring eyes, asking Why? Or Think Again. Or maybe I’m Hungry. It’s really hard to tell.

One thing’s for certain: Cat Stick has a First-Class Temperament. In the twenty-five years we’ve known him, that expression has never changed. Cat Stick doesn’t blink.

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From Porn Movies for Women — part of the Porn for Women Network! — some recommendations for your weakened awakened weekend pleasure:

Facesitting Pleasures Series: “As long as I got the face they have a place to sit.”

City of Flesh 3: “This is not your conventional adult move, its hardcore, explicit action is interlaced with an engaging storyline, skillful acting, beautiful sets and awesome music.”

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