Fascist enabler Joe Scarborough exposed his deepest and most twisted sexual fantasies on MSNBC yesterday morning, apropos absolutely nothing, shouting out, “Hey, you know what I want to see: George Bush and Barbara Bush making out.”

Yes, Joe, you twisted fuck, that’s what everyone in America is thinking about all the time when they’re not thinking about securing victory in Iraq or eliminating taxes for trillionaires, asshole. No one can wait until Caligutard finally takes it out and sucks on Battleax Barbara’s tongue for hours on ESPN pay-per-view.

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Oh my:

Federal authorities took Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D) and his chief of staff John Harris into custody this morning on federal corruption charges. Before the arrest, the Chicago Tribune had reported that a “three-year federal corruption investigation of pay-to-play politics in Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s administration has expanded to include his impending selection of a new U.S. senator to succeed President-elect Barack Obama.” According to a press release from the U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald’s Office:

A 76-page FBI affidavit alleges that Blagojevich was intercepted on court-authorized wiretaps during the last month conspiring to sell or trade Illinois’ U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama for financial and other personal benefits for himself and his wife. At various times, in exchange for the Senate appointment, Blagojevich discussed obtaining:

– a substantial salary for himself at a either a non-profit foundation or an organization affiliated with labor unions;

– placing his wife on paid corporate boards where he speculated she might garner as much as $150,000 a year;

– promises of campaign funds – including cash up front; and

– a cabinet post or ambassadorship for himself. 

Might as well be blatant about it.

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Former NRA magazine editor and “self-defense advocate” John M. Snyder celebrated last year’s Omaha mall shooting with this commemorative holiday card depicting “an armed Santa Claus defending school children from a crazed gunman.”

See Santa who just in time defends,
Classmates, teachers and their friends,
Gun-right carry laws should extend
Into our classrooms, we contend!

Snyder sends his unique creations each year to naughty boys and girls at the Supreme Court, Congress, and the White House. This year’s seasonal tableau depicts bad Barack Obama trying to wrest the spirit of Christmas the Second Amendment away from Santa-C, backed by his posse of gun owners. Barry and his “gun grabber” dawgs better hope Santa wins the tug of war, or St. Nick will pop a cap in his ass.

Omaha Murders Validate Timeliness of Armed Santa Claus Christmas Card [Christian Newswire]

Gun Rights Expert Shows Santa Opposing Obama on Firearm Rights Christmas Card [NewsReleaseWire]

Remember Plymouth?  Oldsmobile?  Those car brands disappeared mostly because they duplicated another line’s models (in this case Dodge and Buick) by just changing the badges.  “Badge engineering” some called it.

Now GM must slim down.  The question is – which brands and nameplates to cut?

DETROIT — General Motors says it will eliminate eight nameplates by 2012.

But determining which vehicles will go isn’t as simple as finding eight sales duds in GM’s lineups. GM will kill more than eight vehicles — while adding several others — by 2012.

And what does GM consider essential?

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Khalid Sheikh Mohammed et al are apparently throwing in the towel on their not-trials, and going to confess to helming the 9/11 attacks:

Five men charged with plotting the Sept. 11 attacks told a military judge Monday that they want to immediately confess at their war-crimes tribunal at Guantanamo Bay, setting up likely guilty pleas and their possible executions.

The five said they decided to abandon all efforts to defend themselves against the capital charges on Nov. 4, the day Barack Obama was elected to the White House. It was as if they wanted to rush toward convictions before Obama — who has vowed to end the war-crimes trials and close Guantanamo — takes office.

I’m not getting this. If KSL and the others are seeking to be put to the needle before Dubya leaves, then it’s clear that they have learned nothing about the judicial system — the last meal takes months to cook, even with all appeals dropped.

Maybe they recognize the power of Barry to (at least) paper-over the divisions between U.S. America and the rest of the world. Maybe they want to take the heat off their pals, now radicalized by the not-so-judicial treatment of the feds. I dunno.

You’ll pardon our very Seventies and very Northwest reference to a popular beer jingle. Because beer jingles remind us of Jingle Bells, and Northwest Jingle Bells lead to this:

Three signs that criticize atheism went on display near a Nativity set Friday, the same day someone stole an atheists’ engraving that had been placed nearby. The atheists’ placard celebrates the winter solstice and criticizes religion as myth and superstition — wording that has enraged some Christians and even irritated Gov. Chris Gregoire.

That would be the display at the Washington State Capitol in Olympia, which has given Bill O’Reilly fuel for his annual Holiday Bloviation Celebration (“It wouldn’t happen in California with Schwarzenegger”) during a traditionally slow news month. Sponsored by the Freedom from Religion Foundation, the sign reads in part, “There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.”

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Barry, on MTP this morning:

“You know, the days of just pork coming out of Congress as a strategy, those days are over.”

Everyone who honestly believes that, raise your hands. Not all at once.

The only question is whether Black Eagle keep the rush for pork to sub-Wal*Mart levels. I reckon it is fifty-fifty.

(Mind, however, that I’m all for the massage seats on CTA buses and trains. Thanks, American Taxpayer!)