While we may fret about the potential desecration of Warner Bros. cartoons, we really don’t care what the studios do with the Hanna-Barbera catalog, which, while certainly a staple of American childhood, wasn’t necessarily a beloved staple.

(Do you remember the Jetsons for the gags or the gizmos? Case closed.)

We will grant that there was worse Saturday-morning fare to be consumed — anything produced by Filmation comes to mind — and we count our blessings that we escaped before the Product Tie-In Apocalypse hit the airwaves.

But Hanna-Barbera cartoons as classics? Well, no. Except for Harvey Birdman. But that was a meta afterthought.

Yogi Bear movie site [via Buzzfeed]

Our guest columnist this morning is Vaughn R. Walker, United States District Chief Judge, Northern District of California, as told to our Citation Removal Bot.

Marriage has retained certain characteristics throughout the history of the United States. Marriage requires two parties to give their free consent to form a relationship, which then forms the foundation of a household. The spouses must consent to support each other and any dependents. The state regulates marriage because marriage creates stable households, which in turn form the basis of a stable, governable populace. The state respects an individual’s choice to build a family with another and protects the relationship because it is so central a part of an individual’s life.

Never has the state inquired into procreative capacity or intent before issuing a marriage license; indeed, a marriage license is more than a license to have procreative sexual intercourse. “[I]t would demean a married couple were it to be said marriage is simply about the right to have sexual intercourse,” [wrote the Supreme Court in Lawrence v. Texas]. The Supreme Court recognizes that, wholly apart from procreation, choice and privacy play a pivotal role in the marital relationship.

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“Astroboffins are warning that a mighty ‘eruption’ of superhot plasma has been blasted out of the Sun directly at the Earth. The plasma cloud is expected to reach Earth beginning [Wednesday], possibly causing strange phenomena…”

To: Utah Freak Senatorial Candidate dba Nojo
From: Stinque Office of Quality Control
Re: Proposed Wednesday-morning post

Dear Sir, Madam, or Hamster,

We have received your draft, “Ten Unusual Things Caused by Sunspots,” and are returning it because it does not meet our editorial standards.

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This portion of our test is designed to measure your comprehension. Please read the following passage thoroughly before answering the questions below.

A few weeks ago I decided to mosey over to a local Manhattan coffee shop for an afternoon cappuccino.

After placing my order I sat down at a table and pulled out my Amazon Kindle.

I barely made it a sentence into the e-book I was reading before an employee of the coffee shop came by, stood over me and said, “Excuse me sir, but we don’t allow computers in the coffee shop.”

I looked up at him with an incredulous look and replied, “This isn’t a computer, it’s an e-book reader.”

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Tonight, when [Rand] Paul finally strides up and takes the microphone in the front of the room, he seems relaxed and speaks to the crowd in a soft and steady Southern accent. “People say, ‘Oh those Tea Party people, they’re angry.’ I say: ‘No, they’re concerned and they’re worried.’ They’re worried that we could destroy the currency by adding such a massive debt.” Paul then invoked the Nazis: “In Germany it led to Hitler.”

• Endless war of aggression.
• Denigration of minority religion.
• Fascist memoirist.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TH_dKfBI40

The Management regrets to announce that this morning’s previously scheduled post, If the iPad is Just a “Consumption Device” Then So Are Books, You Fucking Geek Posers, has been canceled so that we might bring you this very special English lesson from Korea.

Parts of the audio are, how you say, Not Safe For Work. Other parts are likely Not Safe For A Certain Stinque Patron’s Parents, although we lack the linguistic competence to judge for certain, and know better than to trust subtitles.

As you watch, and, perhaps disregarding our warning, listen, remember to bear this in mind: These people produce our cartoons.

[via Kottke]

WorldNetDaily, the Black Knight of Birtherism, is not giving up.

Last time we checked in with them, they were undermining their own story about how the local Honolulu papers were snookered by the health department: The only way for Baby Barack to have been born in Kenya, we determined — based on WND’s own evidence — was for Mom to have jumped the Mombassa redeye Friday night to meet the Monday filing deadline.

Well, okay, fine. WND will grant the point. But only so, like a magician releasing a bird from the other egg, they can amaze you with their latest feat: It doesn’t matter.

Because even if Barack Obama was born in Honolulu, he’s still not a natural-born citizen!

Whoa! Bet you didn’t see that coming!

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