Palin Über Alles

Flee!Title: “Going Rogue: An American Life”

Author: Attributed to Sarah Palin

Rank: 1

Blurb: “In this eagerly anticipated memoir, Palin paints an intimate portrait of growing up in the wilds of Alaska; meeting her lifelong love; her decision to enter politics; the importance of faith and family; and the unique joys and trials of life as a high-profile working mother. She also opens up for the first time about the 2008 presidential race, providing a rare, mom’s-eye view of high-stakes national politics — from patriots dedicated to ‘Country First’ to slick politicos bent on winning at any cost.”

Customer Tags: keeping america stupid, quitter, sea of pee, premarital sex, idiocracy, narcissistic personality disorder, epic fail, pig vomit, waste of a good tree, book to nowhere, clown car, 15 minutes are up, conservative blowup doll, english as a second language, novelty toilet paper, queen of the crackpots, shallow end of the gene pool, i can see her career dying from my house

Customers Also Bought: “Sarah Palin 2012 You Betcha! Button”

Footnote: Available Tuesday. You can run, but you can’t hide.

Going Rogue [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]


I was happier before I’d heard of her. Like Spiderman: The Musical.

Why? What’s worse is Bono (yes, that one) is doing the muzik.

This small time Spiderman fan thinks it’s about as wonderful an idea as Baconaise.

As per Simple Sarah’s book? It will be like G.I. Joe, the movie. Take off like a rocket the first week and then when people realize the “h8trs” were right then sales will tumble. This is the kind of book that will end up as:
a) Novelty Gift
b) Breakup Gift
c) Ironic Hipster Doofus Gift

(reposting a friday night comment because the more I think about this the more I think it is right and the more frightened I become)

I just had a epiphany listening to Tweety drone on while I fed the dogs about how Palin is some kind of female Reagan. so sick of hearing this btw. Palin is no more the female version of Reagan than I am. thats obvious. but the horror that just dawned on me is that Palin IS the female equivalent of George Bush. and lest we forget George won the same number of terms in the WH as Ronnie did.
Im frightened.

after I work for a couple of hours I am going to see 2012. I will report.

@Capt Howdy: She has the same cheerleader/beauty pageant background as GWB.

@ManchuCandidate: As a musical it’s not about human beings in a human world it’s about teenagers in flying harnesses and crossover merchandizing and birthday treats for tweens.

Here’s a tip: Never ever get a case of the runs when you’re buckled into a flying harness. It’s probably not going to end well.

absolutely. she makes the rubes think she is one of them. do not misunderestimate this one.

@Capt Howdy:
Unlike W and Raygun, she’s pissed off the GOP powers that be.

Plus she’s tends to freak out/fall apart under pressure.

I think the next big threat is going to be running against both parties. I think that is what she is setting up to do.

I could even see her run as an independent. which would be great news because it would mean a democratic president. but she is going to go for the republican nomination.

I betcha

@Capt Howdy: I want her to run under some other party in 2012. So bad. I want it SO BAD. Please, please fracture the GOP once and for all, I want it so bad I can taste it. Three parties please! Now! Thanks!

@Capt Howdy:
It certainly looks that way.

She’s trying to tear a page from Barry Obama’s book on an insurgent campaign to upend the “established” candidate.

Pros: Mittens? Ru9i? Newty Toot? Hahahahaha
Cons: She’s a moran. Her top advisers aren’t that smart. She runs away when there’s just a tad bit of pressure.

So, which among us is actually going to read this book in order to tell the rest of us what’s in it?

@RomeGirl: I think the real question is, when will she?


From the early AP discussions, it looks like the “stop making stuff up” Sarah has gotten pretty good at making stuff up. Even the McCain campaign people are saying she’s full of shit.

@Capt Howdy: Relax. Shrub won two terms as governor of a real state. More importantly, he had Rove looking out for his interests. There’s nothing to fear from Palin — only hope that she’ll run. Which I’ll now dub Operation Enduring Joy.

I hear there’s 20 some pics. Is one of them a centerfold?

DEVELOPING HARD: Sarah bashes AP per Facebook page, thusly:

In her Facebook note, Palin calls the AP’s report “erroneous.”

“We’ll keep setting the record straight, and we’ll keep reminding some in the media that Americans are very tired of their non-objective reporting,” Palin writes.

The GOP lightning rod — who begins a media blitz this week in support of her memoir — closes with a message for her supporters.

“God bless the fight for freedom! Keep up the great work, Patriots who love this country.”

(3:1 against on that tagline at the end being spoken after she is serviced by Todd.)

@chicago bureau: Funny, I hadn’t pegged her as a Patriots fan …

@chicago bureau: The triumph of postmodernism: A post Palin didn’t write trashes the AP for fact-checking a book she didn’t write.

A friend in England alerted me to a post on an Alaskan wingnut blog that a “Trig Truther” story is about to break, possibly from former McCain staffers now in the Romney camp. We’re gonna need more popcorn.

@Mistress Cynica: And if the info in the letter is true, then it would put Palin in the same position as Obama is in with his birth certificate.

The birthers – they will always be with us.

Nojo, I’m sure you meant Operation Enduring Schadenfreude.

Mistress Cynica: NO NO NO. I want Palin to get beat the old fashioned way — a horrendous gaffe showing that she has the education of a sixth-grader.

@RomeGirl: If anyone does decide to read this drivel, please do so in the toilet of B&N and don’t wash your hands.

I hear Piper just signed for the ‘books on tape’ version.

@al2o3cr: She is the full embodiment of the WackRight’s ability to 100% believe everything they say, no matter how ridic it is. Take today’s DOTD as Exhibit 1.

Ok, I’ve tried not to get swept up in this nonsense, but I’ve actually read a few of the leaked pages on the intertubes, and all I can think is that this can’t be for real.

She was the governor of a US state (!!!), and she comes off like a petulant 10th grader. Somehow she manages be retarded, incoherent and criminally insane all at once; totally without self-awareness, empathy or any capability of divining the motives of others, and maybe even her own.


It blows my mind that people around her think her behavior is normal, when they should be calling a psychiatrist. I’m no expert on the DSM-IV, but this is like Narcissistic Personality Disorder in a box.

They’d better not let bulimics within 10 miles of this book or they’ll barf up everything they’ve eaten over the last 5 years.

@Original Andrew:
A lot of people can’t or won’t see themselves for who they are. They live in a state of perpetual delusion.

I know a couple of people who can’t deal with themselves to the point they are on serious psychotropic medication as despite their defenses, reality has a way of intruding in their world of fantasy. Both are educated, grossly incompetent at what they do despite their protests otherwise and, surprisingly, conservative.

I’m no psychiatrist/psychologist either, but I agree with you.

Youse guys who think she has a strategy, or is “positioning,” I think maybe this is something that gives her waaaay too much credit.

A real candidate, their off-season, tween election activity consists of building support, courting various interest groups with power and money, to gain their support, building the necessary political support from people with money and who are in power.

She seems to do nothing but piss off every element of “power” in the US except for yahoos. She seems to be able to garner and Oprah-like level of celebrity popularity among an element of mouth breathers, but, like, for all that she is Oprah, Oprah has zero political power. Celebrity power is not political power. Only the committed, mainly members of organizations, vote in primaries, the yahoos who love Sarah don’t vote in primaries, and wont. and she is doing nothing to garner the support of the people who get out the vote for primaries, and who come across with the big bucks.

Reagan, and even W, had lined up Wall Street and big business, long before their primaries. Palin, you see Wall street lining up for this idiot?

Her history is crystal clear, she alienates anyone and everyone she comes in contact with, even those who supported her and put her where she is.

She may be strategizing in her mind, but she is delusional, she thinks its done with pure force of personality and wonderfulness, she thinks she can wink and “you betcha” her way to nomination, and thats delusional, because politics requires building networks of support among those who have organized power bases.

She is incapable, she is not going anywhere, I truly believe this.

@Promnight: Exactamundo. There is nothing there but a jungle-gyming opportunist selling a psychoconservative psuedophilosophy. She managed to temporarily hoodwink a small town, a state with a population of about the size of Colorado Springs, a narcissistic old man’s campaign staff and a lot of snakehandlers. Talibunny and Prejean should mint a series of fundamentalist lesbian porn films and clean up.

@FlyingChainSaw: She didn’t even hoodwink McCain’s campaign staff for more than 24 hours.

Poor, dumbass, desperate McCain, within smelling distance of the presidency for what, 20 some years, felt the hot breath of death breathing down his neck when he saw himself behind in the polls and decided to pull a stunt, thinking it was time for a “hail mary,” and he has been quoted as saying thats what he thought he was doing in nominating her.

If he hadn’t panicked and chose her, and instead just calmed down, and chose some safe pick, he would have won.

If he had done that, the polls would have tightened steadily, as the theoretical poll support for Obama got closer to an actual election and lots and lots of people who supported Obama in the abstract started to deal with the reality of whether they were actually going to vote for a black man.

Palin, more than anyone alive, is responsible for the election of Obama, she discredited McCain completely just by the fact that he nominated her. If she could have held her grifting in control, and not gone off on a hillbilly shopping spree of petty rube corrupt grifting, and if she could have gotten through a softball interview with Catie Kouric without coming off as a lying patholigical narcissist dumbfuck rube, McCain would have won.

@Promnight: Don’t make me summon Yoda Pez. Obama had a lock on the electoral vote for months, and McCain’s desperation was an acknowlegement of that. He had to throw the Hail Mary, since a five-yard gain with Pawlenty or Snowe or Kay Baby wouldn’t have scored.

And remember, McCain panicked twice — first with Palin, then with “suspending” his campaign. Palin didn’t throw the election to Obama — she just gift-wrapped it.

In the “OH DEAR GOD NO” Dept, from TPM:

Appearing as a guest panelist on Fox News Sunday today, Liz Cheney dropped her father’s name into the 2012 presidential conversation.

It’s not clear how serious she was — several members of the Fox News gang were in the middle of having a good laugh over video of President Obama’s slight bow to the Japanese emperor and Bill Kristol’s subsequent cracks about it. But when host Chris Wallace compared Obama’s bow to video of a stiff-backed Dick Cheney meeting the emperor in 2007, daughter Liz said, “You could also look at the comparison and think, Cheney 2012.”

A drink. I need a drink.

@Mistress Cynica:

Must think happy thoughts:

Rainbows, puppy dogs and the magnificent Defying Gravity from last week’s Glee.

@Mistress Cynica: Poor Liz. Palin and Bachmann keep sucking all the batshit air out of the room from her.

concerning your prediction that Palin will be a humorous footnote.
to quote Ripley from Aliens, ‘I hope you’re right. I really do.’


Here is why this kind of arcane detail may well smooth Palin’s path to the 2012 nomination. While nothing is certain this far out, Palin seems perfectly positioned to appeal to the conservative party activists who turn out for the opening-gun Iowa caucuses. Moderate New Hampshire, of course, is apt to be a daunting challenge for Palin.

Next stop on the traditional GOP calendar is the firewall South Carolina primary where, as Kamarck writes, “candidates such as Pat Buchanan and Pat Robertson (who were seen as too radical to win a general election)…could be stopped early on.”

But Palin would not be a lucky fringe candidate who won a caucus or two; she would be a universally known charismatic figure who could beat the party establishment in this conservative state.

If Palin launches a 2012 race – and survives the South Carolina primary with her aura intact – she could theoretically sweep the winner-take-all states without ever winning a majority anywhere. The Republican establishment (the congressional leadership, the governors, the major donors and national consultants) could all agree that Palin would be an electoral disaster against Obama in November and still be powerless to halt her juggernaut.

The best way to stop Sarah would be for GOP insiders to rally quickly around a single anti-Palin candidate. But such cabals rarely work in politics because there are too many egos involved. Would, say, Romney be so panicked about Palin that he would prematurely abandon his presidential ambitions to support a potentially more winnable candidate like maybe Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty? Not bloody likely. For that matter, would populist Huckabee drop out in favor of a big-business Republican like Romney to prevent Palin mania? Yeah, sure.

@Capt Howdy: We can only hope that she wins the nomination.

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