Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen.There’s something heartwarming in the notion that, forty years after Woodstock, authority figures still get uptight over hair:

Dustin Reader, an eighth-grader at Garfield Middle School, received an in-school suspension Monday because of a haircut he received over the weekend in honor of the Cincinnati Bengals.

His barber, Chris Campbell of the B Street barbershop Razor Sharp, cut Bengal stripes on the sides of Reader’s head and a large capital B on the back to resemble the team’s helmet, and on Sunday, he colored his head and scalp to match for the game. The colors were washed out for school on Monday, according to his parents, but he barely got off his bicycle at Garfield when he was sent to his principal’s office.

This isn’t Dustin’s first run-in with The Man. He’s also flaunted such anti-authoritarian hair carvings as a rose, a spiral, and “LOST” — known symbols for socialism, anarchy, and crappy second seasons. Personally, we think the only solution is school uniforms and shaved heads.

For the administrators, anyway. The kids can do whatever the hell they want.

Student suspended over ‘Who Dey’ haircut? [Hamilton Journal-News]

This kid has the makings of a Cannibal Anarchist.

What say we award him Cannibal Anarchist of the month, send him an official Stinque CA pack – a lighter and a rusty knife – and send an announcement of the honor to the local paper?

$poiled Children football coach can dish it out but can’t take it, per his whiny “What’s the Deal?” question of the Tree’s coach.


The Stanford Band probably earned its way back to administrative segregation with a pointed yet stirring halftime tribute to “Girls Gone Wild” entrepreneur/tax evader/USC alum Joe Francis. It was a return to the band’s glory days as provocateurs, when they viewed a finger in the eye of the other school to be one knuckle short of success, and will probably get them a lecture from athletic director Bob Bowlsby and a sanction along the lines of “No more beer on the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro.”

No videos of the LSJUMB’s “Girls Gone Wild” tribute on the Tubez yet.

ADD: In the meanwhile, enjoy their 2008 tribute to U$C alum O.J. Simpson.


It’s a tossup, really. He’s right near Cincy, which continues to put up with the Bengal’s generally terrible results, so he might have been OK.

On the other hand, he lives near the only Red city in Ohio, that helped send Boner to Congress. So maybe not so much.

SanFranLefty: Uh, Mr. Carroll? Sir?

2 Sept 2006 — U$C 50:14 Arkansas


20 Oct 2007 — U$C 38:0 Domers

1 Jan 2008 — U$C 49:17 Illinois (at the Rose Bowl, yet)

30 Aug 2008 — U$C 52:7 Virginia

4 Oct 2008 — U$C 44:10 Orygun

18 Oct 2008 — U$C 69:0 Wazzu

29 Nov 2008 — U$C 38:3 Domers

So: the Trojans are not civilians. They can get royally beat down just like any other team in college football. And, thus: shut the fuck up, Pete.

Mistress Cynica: Word is that Jim Harbaugh might go to Michigan, or the Raiders, after this season. If I were the heads at the athletic department, I would contract Harbaugh up, pronto. I like that guy.

Oh, and did the Disney-Licensed Mascots win last night? Does this mean I get to design mini-Stonehenge waving fingers again for the postseason?

@nojo: Yes, the Ducks won…but style points were deducted for wearing their fugly black Nike test uniforms.

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