It’s not a loop as such, but it’s the version going into our iPhone. Credit to BarelyPolitical.com for the flying debris.

Whoever set Sarah Palin’s church ablaze Friday night wasn’t taking chances — ATF investigators on the scene have found evidence of “accelerants” (gasoline or something) in multiple locations around the building.

But local fire chief James Steele says nobody knows yet whether the fire was set by terrorists, hooligans, witches, or turkeys. “At this point, there is no information that we have that even points in that direction,” he said.

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A wave of unacknowledged miracles is sweeping the country, as untold numbers of Baby Jesuses are walking away from the nation’s nativity scenes. But rather than recognize God’s wrath against scientists for attempting to reschedule the virgin birth to June, officials are conspiring to attribute the disappearances to common thieves.

A rundown of the latest shocking reports:

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Play of the Day from Muntadar al-Zaidi, a correspondent for Cairo-based al-Baghdadiya TV. “This is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog,” said Mr. al-Zaidi before being wrestled to the ground and disappearing forever. “Democracy is messy,” he didn’t add.

Shoes thrown at Bush on Iraq trip [BBC]

Title: Final Exits: The Illustrated Encyclopedia of How We Die

Author: Michael Largo

Rank: 20,723

Blurb: “Ants, bad words, Bingo, bean bag chairs, flying cows, frozen toilets, hiccups, lipstick, moray eels, road kill, starfish, and toupees are only some of the more unusual causes.”

Review: “It’s hard to pick my favorites, but I did especially love the one about the moron who climbed on top of a cage full of tigers and started using the bathroom.”

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Sarah Palin’s Wasilla Bible Church, also known as a welcoming place where homos can learn how to get boners for chicks, suffered $1 million in damages following a suspected arson fire Friday night. Nobody was hurt, although five women and perhaps two children were inside when the fire broke out.

Local fire chief James Steele declined to speculate on a political cause for the blaze. “Right now there’s no indication that we have that there’s any connection there,” he said. “We just don’t have any leads at all as far as the intent or motive in this.”

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We’ll love you more if you buy us Grand Theft Auto. And whatever it runs on.

Season’s Greedings [Flickr]