Bernie is not our first choice this year.

He was our first choice four years ago, in part because he generated optimism, in part because Hillary is an untrustworthy leader (Iraq, not emails) and bad politician. You want Hillary as a Cabinet secretary, not the boss.

Bernie hasn’t worn well in the time since, so this year he’s only our second choice. And y’know, we could live with Cranky Mike if we had to, but it’s looking like we don’t, so good for us, but really, you understand what we’re facing, right? Throw up anybody who isn’t a petty treasonous tyrant, and we’re game.

All of which is to say, we don’t get the sudden freakout over Bernie Sanders.

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• “Republican Party has sold its soul” (Chicago Tribune, December 7)
• “After the Roy Moore debacle, it’s clear the Republican Party has lost its soul” (Daily News, November 14)
• “The Republican Party needs to search for its soul” (Globe and Mail, August 2)

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“Obama will officially launch his 2012 re-election campain, and no I’m not kidding, on Karl Marx’s birthday, May 5th! First, we learn that Earth Day was started on the birthday of Vladimir Lenin, the Communist butcher and founder of the USSR, now we learn that Barack Obama, America’s first Marxist president, is launching his campaign on the father of communism’s birthday? Come on, now. This is just too appropriate! How fitting!

“Coincidence? Stupid oversight? Or, an intentional middle-finger in the face of the American people?”

—Freedom Post

• May 5, 1260: Kublai Khan becomes ruler of the Mongol Empire.
• May 5, 1640: King Charles I dissolves the Short Parliament.
• May 5, 1809: The Swiss canton of Aargau denies citizenship to Jews.

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Allen West’s campaign manager takes issue with today’s report that Allen West finally said something batshit-crazy enough to make us drop our embargo on Allen West saying batshit-crazy things:

“One stupid reporter with a local publication misquoted the entire thing, and they all jumped on one press account without verifying,” said Edson. “It’s all typical West Wing marching orders for their friends in the press.”

To make his point, Mr. Edson submitted a tape of the quote in question.

Which, to our taste, only makes it better.

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“West said Obama was ‘scared’ to have a discussion with him. He later said ‘he’s heard’ up to 80 U.S. House Democrats are Communist Party members, but wouldn’t name names.” [Palm Beach Post]

CA principal selling 350 pair shoe collection to save teaching jobs:

This is what teabagging results in, folks.

The Heritage Foundation downgrades the U.S. from a “free” country to “mostly free.” Right behind the lowest “free” country: Canada. [via Political Wire]