Allen West Wins World Record for Pregnant Pause
“One stupid reporter with a local publication misquoted the entire thing, and they all jumped on one press account without verifying,” said Edson. “It’s all typical West Wing marching orders for their friends in the press.”
To make his point, Mr. Edson submitted a tape of the quote in question.
Which, to our taste, only makes it better.
Our story begins at Tuesday night’s Jensen Beach town hall meeting, where one of Allen West’s constituents makes an earnest effort to prove every stereotype we can think of about Florida Republicans:
“What percentage of the American legislature do you think are card-carrying Marxists or International Socialists?”
Setting aside the opportunity to instruct the constituent in the difference between a legislature and Congress, Allen West responds:
“It’s a good question.”
Well, of course it is. It’s an excellent question. If it wasn’t an excellent question, why go the trouble of answering it?
And so Allen West answers it:
“I believe there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democrat Party that are members of the Communist Party.”
And then he waits. Twenty-nine seconds. Because if you don’t wait twenty-nine seconds, you don’t give the audience enough time to gasp and hubbub and mutter and whatever else humans do when they’re taking in Shocking! news.
Finally, once the distress dies down, the punchline:
“It’s called the Congressional Progressive Caucus.”
Well! Great gag! You’re totally right, Campaign Manager Edson! Allen West was misquoted!
No, not the thing about all Progressives being Commies. The thing about not laughing in the constituent’s face. Because honestly, we would have corpsed on the spot.