Now They Just Have to Find Him

“George Zimmerman, the Florida man accused of killing unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin will face charges brought by a special prosecutor investigating the matter, according to multiple reports.” A press conference is scheduled for 6pm ET. [TPM]


Zimmerman will be entitled to raise his self-defense claim now in a hearing before a judge, once they find his ass.

Looks like he’s going to need new lawyers. They quit on him.

Perhaps he could use some of that neighborhood watch brilliance that put him here to defend himself?

@ManchuCandidate: I see this guy barricading himself in a 7-11, probably the potato chips section.

@ManchuCandidate: RML gave us the lawyer play-by-play yesterday while I was distracted geeking.

The more relevant news from yesterday is that the ex-lawyers say Zimmerman’s far, far away from Florida.

I figured that’s the first place he’d go… right?

@ManchuCandidate: Zimmerman’s mom is from Chile or something, so the more wild guesses place him there.

@Dodgerblue: If this were a paying gig, I’d be whipping up a Zimmerman Che graphic right now.

Charges to be announced at 6 PM Eastern, giving Zimmerman another couple of hours head start.

@ManchuCandidate: The Wikipedias sez the following nations do not have extradition treaties with the United States: Afghanistan, Algeria, Andorra, Angola, Armenia, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Belarus, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brunei, Burkina Faso, Burma, Burundi, Cambodia, Cameroon, Cape Verde, the Central African Republic, Chad, China, Comoros, Congo (Kinshasa), Congo (Brazzaville), Djibouti, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Gabon, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Indonesia, Ivory Coast, Kazakhstan, Kosovo, Kuwait, Laos, Lebanon, Libya, Macedonia, Madagascar, Maldives, Mali, Marshall Islands, Mauritania, Micronesia, Moldova, Mongolia, Montenegro, Morocco, Mozambique, Namibia, Nepal, Niger, Oman, Qatar, Russia, Rwanda, Samoa, São Tomé & Príncipe, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Serbia, Slovenia, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Togo, Tunisia, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, Vanuatu, Vatican, and Vietnam.

However, they do not cite their source for this. Here’s a better source.

@rptrcub: So many tempting possibilities! /snark Seriously, you just caused me to sit here and ponder which one I’d choose, should I need to escape extradition. The lemurs of Madagascar would be fun and distracting for a while, but not distracting enough to overlook the nasty bacterial friends who would find me pretty quickly…Maldives would be gorgeous, but I’d be broke in about 10 minutes…any one of the smack-dab-middle-of-the-Pacific island nations would get boring and isolated after a day or three…I guess the best bet for an almost-Western-world-but-not-quite would be Slovenia. I hear Lake Bled is lovely, and you’d have a teeny, teeny sliver of Adriatic coast to enjoy.

Maybe he’ll send us a telegram letting us know where he went.

@flippin eck: Indonesia is somehow attractive to me.

@SanFranLefty: Mint tea is no replacement for alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!

CNN: Zimmerman has new attorney, is in custody.

@rptrcub: very simple solution. replace the troops in afghanistan with our erstwhile neighborhood watchman. i’m sure he could keep the peace there as long as he stands his ground.

@Dodgerblue: billingsley back on the mound tonight

@jwmcsame: Plus Kershaw gets his Cy Young award for last year.

And here we go… I’m at Stinque World Domination HQ, with you-first eyewitness reporting about whatever CNN shows.

Mark O’Mara is the new attorney, in case anybody knows who the fuck that is.

Punctuality! Special Prosecutor steps up at precisely 6pm.

In related news, I need to fix the server clock.

Special Prosecutor congratulates Romney on a hard-fought victory, and—

Wait. Wrong presser.

She’s pretty windy. Let’s get down to it.

We interrupt this announcement for a few minutes of grandstanding.


How much do they pay the Chyron operator?

I knew that thanking Rick Scott was a bad sign.

Zimmerman has 24 hours to turn himself in. He hasn’t already?

Confirmed: Zimmerman in custody. Where is confidential.

Sounds like she’s gonna sit on facts not already divulged.

Programming Note: Perp Walk TBA.

Special Prosecutor suggests (the language is unclear) that they knew where Zimmerman was all along, that reeling him in was a coordinated effort, and Calm down, people! We’re professionals!

On “Stand Your Ground”: It’s just a defense, like any other. Prosecutors fight it, like any other.

On the initial meeting with Trayvon’s parents after being assigned the case: “The first thing we did was pray with them.”

Court of Public Opinion dismissed. All rise.

Addendum: Zimmerman’s being held without bail. But there may be a bond hearing later.

Maximum sentence for Murder Two: Life without parole.

Prosecutor sez she doesn’t recommend sentencing until after the conviction’s in the can.

Murder Two defined:

Murder with a Depraved Mind or Accomplice Felony Murder

Murder with a Depraved Mind occurs when a person is killed, without any premeditated design, by an act imminently dangerous to another and evincing a depraved mind showing no regard for human life.

The primary distinction between Premeditated First Degree Murder and Second Degree Murder with a Depraved Mind is that First Degree Murder requires a specific and premeditated intent to kill.

This is from some FL criminal defense lawyer’s website: There are two kinds of second-degree murder in the state of Florida: depraved mind murder and accomplice felony murder. Depraved mind murder covers the unlawful killing of another person by an imminently dangerous act that demonstrates a “depraved mind” with an extreme lack of regard for human life. This type of second-degree murder punishes extremely reckless, uncaring acts that lead to death. It does not apply to mere reckless indifference toward human life; that is covered by manslaughter laws. It also does not apply to murders committed with intent to kill; that is covered by first degree murder. Instead, committing an imminently dangerous act with a depraved mind means committing an act an ordinary person would know is reasonably likely to lead to death or serious injury, doing so with ill will or evil intent (but not intent to kill), and doing so in a way that demonstrates a complete indifference to human life. This is known in other parts of the country as depraved indifference homicide or depraved heart murder.

In other criminal law news, Charles Manson was denied parole today. Won’t be going up in front of the board again until 2027, when he would be 92.

@flippin eck: I’ve been to eleven of them, with #12 coming up! Slovenia also has good skiing, but the downside would be risk of getting sent to the Hague.

@SanFranLefty: How are they going to fill his slot at Coachella on such short notice?

@Nabisco: @flippin eck: I was just thinking that we had Stinque advance teams in several of the locations.

@SanFranLefty: I’m with you, and they do have booze, and weed. Attractive male population goes without mention, but I’ll mention it anyway.

Wait. No vote for Brunei? I’m not worried about that Sharia business.

Before anyone gives thanks for the 2d degree murder charge, consider whether Zimmerman was deliberately overcharged. If the judge fails to instruct that the jury can convict on a lesser charge of manslaughter, he may yet walk.

@stickler: I was actually wondering whether Murder 2 is a bargaining chip for a plea-bargained manslaughter.

@I’m passing for white: Oh, and the hash in Morocco is off the hook, according to former Peace Corps volunteers I know who went there to dig holes for wells, and spread democracy. Getting stoned at 1:30 pm on good weed and hash does more for democracy than just about anything else, amirite?

I thought liquor was freely available in the best parts of the country. Granted, it’s not strolling into the People’s Republic of San Francisco’s 24 hour Safeway in the Castro with the full liquor aisles, but I think you’re okay in Marrakesh.

@nojo: Ding! Ding! DING!

@Mistress Cynica:
turks and caicos? we aren’t all here for the beach.

headline in today’s newspaper: (fighting factions of our two political parties objecting to the English placing a temporary “white” governor to stem the tide of outrageous corruption)

(PNP party leader clayton greene)


hash? we just put the seeds in the pots for the next harvest! this is a great place without extradition, and the weed grows as high as an elephants eye.

so sorry, i know it’s my turn, been having major internet problems. you know i don’t dawdle when i’m ahead!

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