Sole Man

News flash: The Yankees have signed al-Zaidi to a 5-year deal. “He needs a little work to get the shoe, er, ball down in the strike zone,” said Yankee closer Mariano Rivera, “but we need a guy with guts like this so we don’t look like total pussies when we play the Red Sox.”

I can go two ways with this.

1. “Mr. al-Zaidi, you have been charged with one count of assault on a public official, and two counts of really shitty aim. How do you plead?”

2. What would be worse punishment: an extended stay in an Iraqi prison, or a three-year contract (club option for a fourth) with the Detroit Lions?

I’m leaning towards choice 2.

Seriously: what does this say about the security situation in Iraq? If this guy was legit press, I’m the Queen of the Netherlands. But also: if this was in U.S. America, the Secret Service would not have let the guy get off Shoe No. 2 before grabbing the President and running like hell. Rethink of protection detail procedures, pronto.

We were looking at this wondering why the Secret Service hadn’t dropped him before shoe #2. I don’t think they’re even trying anymore.

@Mistress Cynica: If you watch the extended BBC version, it seems that the laughing Iraqi journalists stop him from tearing off their shoes before the Secret Service get to him.

Can we start the legal defense fund for the guy?

@Dodgerblue: @chicago bureau: He had decent aim, he just stupidly warned Shrub that the shoe was coming.

Nothing much about shoes (or Sheos for the dyslexics.)

Borrowed from Mr Heidi Klum’s one major hit that I know of:

There used to be a shining city alone on the hill.
You became the blight on the good feelings of man.
Iraq was planned as a way steal the bucks.
Chorus 1

But did you know,
That when you talk,
My eyes become red and,
The death that you cause can be seen.
Chorus 2

W,
I curse you, dog and throw my old shoes to say goodbye.
…throw my old shoes to say goodbye.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
Ooh……………….
Hatred it burns, yeah.
And now that your reign is at end.
A shoe flies through the room today.
Inter

ba da ba da da da ah ya ya
ba da da da ba ba ee ah
Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya

ba da ba da da da ah ya ya
ba da da da ba ba ee ah
Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya
Ba ya ha ya ah ah ah ah ah ba ba ya ya
ha ah ah ah ah ah ah
Verse 2

There is little that man can tell you,
..there………………..woa…
Little he can say.
there’s little inside.
You remain,
you…….
Your invasion, Occupation, your oil, Iraq
To me you’re built a growing disaster that I can’t deny.. yeah.
Won’t you tell me is that freedom, W?
Chorus 1

But did you know,
That when you talk,
My eyes become red and,
The death that you cause can be seen.
Chorus 2

W,
I’ll…I’ll curse you, dog and heave my old shoes to say goodbye.
heave…heave my old shoes to say goodbye.
Ooh, the more I get of you
…ooh………..the..
Anger it feels, yeah
Anger it feeds, …yeah.
And now that your reign is at end.
A shoe flies through the room today.
Bridge

I’ll heave my old shoes to say goodbye,
…I’ll heave…………………..I’ll…
I’ll heave my old shoes
…heave my old shoes to say goodbye
I’ll heave my old shoes to say goodbye,
…I’ll heave…………………..I’ve…
…And if I should fall, at all
I’ll heave my old shoes
…heave my old shoes to say goodbye.
Verse 3

There is so little W can tell you,
..there………………..woa…
Nothing he can say.
he’s so dead inside.
You remain
you…….
Your invasion, Occupation, your oil, Iraq
To me you’re built a growing disaster that I can’t deny.. yeah.
Won’t you tell me is that freedom, W?
Chorus 1

But did you know,
That when you talk,
My eyes become red and,
The death that you cause can be seen.
Chorus 2

W,
Yes I’ll curse you, dog and heave my old shoes to say goodbye.
I’ll………. heave my old shoes to say goodbye.
Ooh, the more I throw at you
…ooh………..the..
Angrier I feel, yeah
Angrier I feel. …yeah.
And now that your reign is at end.
A shoe flies through the room today.

Yes I’ll curse you, dog and heave my old shoes to say goodbye.
I’ll………. heave my old shoes to say goodbye.
Ooh, the more I throw at you
…ooh………..the..
Angrier I feel, yeah
Angrier I feel. …yeah.
And now that your reign is at end.
aah-ee-aah…
A shoe flies through the room today.
aah-ee-aah…
Outro

ba da ba da da da ah ya ya
ba da da da ba ba ee ah
Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya

And now that your reign is at end.
A shoe flies through the room today.

It is too bad that the Koran forbids the consumption of alcohol, because I want to buy that guy a fucking drink….

Add: I just keep watching it over and over. I want to make it my screensaver.

did you see the look on shrubs face after shoe #1?
he looked amused more than concerned didn’t he?
such a mo-ron.
and what were the secret service doing that had a gaggle of them running out toward the podium after the fact. playing cards?
you’re right cyn, i don’t think they care.
take a bullet for that piece of human waste? uh uh.
and why wasn’t the shoe richard reed rigged anyway? now that’s entertainment.
we would have seen quite a different reaction if a shoe was thrown at barry, thank FSM.

@chicago bureau: Your Majesty, I totes believe he is a ‘real’ journalist because I want to believe it and that’s good enough for me.

I can’t stop playing it and laughing. It’s as good as Colbert at the WH Correspondents’ Dinner. If only our White House Press had balls to match this guy. I’m sure they were all given a good frisking before they were allowed into the presence. It’ll be used underwear next.

@Benedick: Then we could call him President Skidmark.

@Benedick: I actually went looking last night for Comparative Historical Footage of Khrushchev banging his shoe. (I was aiming for a Top Ten list of Political Shoe Incidents.) Couldn’t find any, and apparently there’s some dispute whether he was actually banging it, but I did stumble across some fascinating Universal Newsreel footage now on YouTube. Sooner or later that’ll come in handy.

@nojo: And Imelda Marcos and Tucker Carlson make four.