That wasn’t so difficult, was it? Heck, you were probably sleeping the whole time, and didn’t even realize we were switching wires on your Matrix headgear.

Fresh for 2009, it’s the New! Improved! Monthly! Jam! We’ll be running regular Jams on First Saturdays, and Locked Up marathons the rest of the time.

New Year’s Jam [Flickr]

Not to worry — nothing, y’know, drastic this time. But tonight around 2 a.m. Eastern we’ll be taking the website offline while we move it to a new server.

The good news is that other than a test pattern for a few hours, you shouldn’t notice anything different. Unlike our previous travels, the database is moving with us, including all the posts and comments. Same address, too — no need to change bookmarks or anything.

At worst, you may have to log in again once the site’s back online. But as always, there’s an automated means to reset your password if you’ve forgotten it. And, as always, Geeks Are Standing By if you need help.

Well, one Geek. And he sleeps in. But he’ll get around to you.

Something’s rotting in our Intertubes today, preventing access to a number of sites — including ours! So the Porn Post needs to be iPhone-brief tonight: Imagine a very naughty tryst between Celine Dion and Andrew Lloyd Webber.

You got a problem with that? Fine. Fix our Internet, and we’ll put out.

January: Barack Obama is sworn in as 44th President of the United States.

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Okay, we’re cheating — this is a newsreel, not NBC. But ya work with what ya got, and what we got here is a report produced five days after the fall of Havana on January 1, 1959. Viva La Revolución! Or Cuba Libre! Whatever’s your style.