Think Dirty Thoughts

Something’s rotting in our Intertubes today, preventing access to a number of sites — including ours! So the Porn Post needs to be iPhone-brief tonight: Imagine a very naughty tryst between Celine Dion and Andrew Lloyd Webber.

You got a problem with that? Fine. Fix our Internet, and we’ll put out.



Hopefully your teevee wasn’t broken, so you could watch the big Mormon-land vs. Jesus-land football game. I know how you like that.

Okay I had to google ALW to see what he looked like and super ewww. For serious? I guess I’ve been confusing naughty thoughts with dirty thoughts, because I literally feel dirty right now. My brain needs a bath, stat! Hmm all I have is beer…

@homofascist: Mr Cyn wondered if Brigham Young bet Bear Bryant three wives for Bear’s hat on the game. Man, Bourbon St is filled with pissed off drunken frat boys right now.

@Mistress Cynica: Alliterative joys of the phrase “Brigham Young bet Bear Bryant” aside, I had to look up the Bear guy and found this wonder. There’s another picture of this guy rocking a utilikilt too, classic.

@Mistress Cynica: One of the reasons I love my nephew Jamie was that when he was young, early 20s, he used to beat up fratboys for sport. Just to see the look of shocked surprise on their spoiled faces. He is 10 years younger than I am, but in my 30s, I would take him to concerts and events with me all the time, and he was like my big brother, no harm would come to me, no matter how sketchy the venue, with Jamie around.

Mind you, he would not start fights, its just that he would not suffer obnoxiousness to go unanswered, he would not look for fights, but if the drunken frat boys at the next table started throwing beer around, or cursing horridly and offending the womenfolk, or doing those gorrilla-like aggressive displays, where they flex their muscles and hoot and grunt, he would forcefully tell them to quiet down and behave like humans, and if one of them felt it a point of honor to defend their right to act like animals, basically, if they asked for it, he would oblige them, and, as I said, they were usually very surprised that anyone would question their supremacy.

He was like the fantasy, of what you would do to the obnoxious fratboys at the next table, if only you were superman. He would do it.

I apologize. I’m the one who a few days ago raised the thought of a Celine/ALW combo of reviving Titanic for Broadway.

Again, I apologize for planting a seed in Nojo’s head.

Please forgive me.

@SanFranLefty: The other option was coupling Mariah Carey with a dime-store monkey.

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