Tom Daschle’s old Pontiac lasted more than 238,000 miles, and spewed god knows how much crap into the air.

Before He Got Senatized, Tom Daschle Used to Be Just Like Us [FamousDC, via Sully]

One of our favorite West Wing moments — besides Martin Sheen chewing up the scenery in Latin — involves a series of live remote interviews that President Bartlet gives to local TV morning shows.

The setup is simple: The camera light turns green, the feed is live. The light turns red, it’s safe to say what you really think about Rob Lowe’s acting.

Red, green, red, green, the segments continue. Only Bartlet misses a cue and tells a local anchor something he shouldn’t, leaving his staff to put out fires the rest of the episode.

The twist is that the “slip” is intentional. By pretending to be off-guard, Bartlet scores an important point that a conventional delivery wouldn’t achieve.

Which brings us to Rush Limbaugh.

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Punxsutawney Groundhog Club

Title: Football For Dummies

Authors: Howie Long & John Czarnecki

Rank: 43,026

Blurb: “Once you break through that initial fear of being overwhelmed by football and what you don’t understand, I know everything else about the game, like dominoes, will fall into place.”

Review: “The Canadian Pro Football League, which started 11 years before that other overrated Pro outdoor League down south, has not never will be and isn’t a ‘feeder’ or ‘AAA’ League for the NFL. The NFL has nothing to be smug about after that lousy Super Bowl XL!”

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• Birds overhead no longer fall from sky.
• Amelia Earhart found.
• Black hole removed from Naval Observatory’s view.
• Colin Powell’s balls discovered in atomic-clock case.
• Deer sacrifices decline.
• Flowers cease wilting upon bloom.
• Dementors return to Azkaban.
• TV no longer speaks in tongues.
• Flying monkeys grounded.
• Ewoks gather to dance and sing in celebration, only to be obliterated by the Death Star, because we still can’t fucking stand them.

Fuzz dissipates as Dick Cheney quits official residence [Sydney Morning Herald, via CheapBoy]

While the story about guys thinking about sex every seven seconds (wait… now!) may be apocryphal, this one has an academic study behind it: “Women have more nightmares than men, a British researcher says, but men are more likely to dream about sex.”

Nightmares about sex were not reported. But even when women do dream about sex, they tend to opt for a Lifetime movie, while guys head straight for XTube:
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The weird are turning pro this week, as alamatto di tutti alamatti WorldNetDaily touts shocking! new! facts! in the Wasilla church spontaneous-combustion case.

Well, just a couple. A church elder tells a blogger that the arsonist cut telephone and alarm lines before lighting the match. But police still have no suspects, nor are they speculating about the motive.

Which doesn’t prevent the blogger — Kevin “Coach” Collins of NYC — from stating the obvious conclusion: the fags did it.

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