It’s not news when yet another Orly Taitz birther lawsuit is dismissed. But in shitcanning the latest entertaining travesty, U.S. District Court Judge David O. Carter of California notes some curious behavior on her part:

Taitz encouraged her supporters to contact this Court, both via letters and phone calls. It was improper and unethical for her as an attorney to encourage her supporters to attempt to influence this Court’s decision.

Before our California barristers rush to update their ethics complaints, however, stand by for the whopper:

Additionally, the Court has received several sworn affidavits that Taitz asked potential witnesses that she planned to call before this Court to perjure themselves. This Court is deeply concerned that Taitz may have suborned perjury through witnesses she intended to bring before this Court.

Can we get a whoa?

Judge: ‘Birther’ lawyer may have urged witnesses to lie on the stand [Raw Story]

Barnett v. Obama [PDF, via LAT]

Boris & Natasha bobbleheads [Elmstreet Online]

You’ll recall, if you didn’t have better things to do, that Team Sarah sent us an email Tuesday pleading for some quick cash so Sarah Palin could read somebody else’s speech for the Iowa Family Policy Center — they were $41,000 shy of their $100,000 goal.

That set off a little, er, stink today, when politically inclined Iowans questioned the wisdom of paying anything at all to a prospective presidential candidate testing the waters:

“If somebody tells me they want me to pay an appearance fee, it tells me they’re not very serious about running for president,” said Ed Failor, Jr., president of Iowans for Tax Relief and an influential GOP insider.

Upon which IFPC said the hundred large wasn’t for Talibunny, but “only to secure a venue, pay for lighting and promote the event.”

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Nancy Pelosi is expected to release the House version of the death panel healthcare bill this morning, and the good folks at Team Sarah are ready to crowdsource pages 1 through 1880 for signs of socialism. “Please ONLY report items that are truly egregious or Red Flags,” the leaders remind the troops, and for assistance, they’ve provided the following taxonomy of egregiousness:

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Levi Johnston:

Johnston also told [Maggie] Rodriguez [on the CBS Early Show] he’s been hearing a lot about his saying in a recent first-person tell-all in Vanity Fair magazine that Palin routinely referred to her baby, Trig, who suffers from Down syndrome, as “retarded.”

“I was just in shock for the first time I heard it,” Johnston recalled for Rodriguez. “And then she’d say it regularly. And I think she was joking, but it doesn’t make it right.”

Sarah Palin:

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From the folks who brought you the Mormon stud calendar (now in its third edition), comes Hot Mormon Muffins:

The women featured in the calendar range in age from 26 to 53. Some have as many as four children. Several are stay-at-home moms, while others are students, real estate agents, cosmetologists and dance instructors. One is a former Miss Utah and another is a breast cancer survivor, according to biographies on the calendar Web site.

There’s also a series of cheesecake videos on their website, including tips on how to “Prepare Your Muffins for Latter-day Disasters” and “Resurrect Your Muffins”. We’d post one here, but the timing is, shall we say, a little flat.

Calendar pokes fun at Mormon mom stereotype [AP/AZcentral, via RML]

We usually wait for the DVD, but apparently Curb Your Enthusiasm has a more interesting plot twist this year than the Seinfeld reunion:

At one point in the show, David goes to the bathroom in a Catholic home and splatters urine on a picture of Jesus; he doesn’t clean it off. Then a Catholic woman goes to the bathroom, sees the picture and concludes that Jesus is crying. She then summons her equally stupid mother and the two of them fall to their knees in prayer. When David and Jerry Seinfeld (playing himself) are asked if they ever experienced a miracle, David answers, “every erection is a miracle.”

“Was Larry David always this crude?” asks the Catholic League. “Would he think it comedic if someone urinated on a picture of his mother?”

Yes. And, we suspect, Yes.

On ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm,’ Larry David Urinates on Jesus [Opposing Views]

• Pigs fly: 50,000:1
• Christ descends from Heaven: 80,000:1
• “Just kidding,” says Joe Lieberman: 750:1

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