Tonight’s Odds

Eat flaming death, fascist media pigs!

  • Pigs fly: 50,000:1
  • Christ descends from Heaven: 80,000:1
  • “Just kidding,” says Joe Lieberman: 750:1

  • All the players turn into locusts: 30,000:1
  • Glenn Beck reveals that he’s Darrell Hammond: 5:1
  • Spit: 1:100
  • (Obligatory unpleasant remark about Bob Costas, but a different one from the reader poll): Even
  • Mascot brawl: 25:1
  • Alicia Keys grabs her crotch during the National Anthem: 50:1
  • We watch baseball: 1,000,000:1
38 Comments

Go JNOVs.

I’m an AL fan, but I hate the Yankees.

Who’s Darrell Hammond? Ditto, Bob Costas. Ditto, Alicia Keys?

Yes, it is possible to live in God’s Country and know nothing about Sport (I take it they’re Sport). But you have to close your eyes very tight and clap your hands real loud and say over and over “I do believe in fairies.”

If you detect a certain taint of despair about my morning round-up it’s because I might be a tad over-loaded on US culture and might be about to go off the rails again. The cynicism of Wall E really did me in.

By the by, I really recommend B Ehrenreich’s new book. Extraordinarily perceptive and timely. And might I add that Preznit Bunnypants’s reboot as cheerleader is just about the most despicable things he’s ever done. I’m so glad to learn that he sleeps well at night, untroubled by the burthen of the thousands of lives lost by his actions.

I’ll be watching with the sound off. If you can’t have Vin Scully, there is no point in listening.

Odds of Bay Bridge reopening today: 50-50.

Sucks if you normally have to cross the Bay Bridge for work, seeing as how we had a little oopsie go crash last night.

We watch baseball: 1,000,000:1

we agree on sooooo many things

@SanFranLefty: Not on quite the same scale in terms of number of commuters but the Lake Champlain bridge connecting VT with NY has been closed because of structural damage caused by years of negligence due to the chronic underfunding of the state agency charged with its upkeep. So now there is a hundred mile drive to get round the lake instead. I think today they’re adding ferries free of charge and thereby ruining the business of the long-established ferries that normally service the lake traffic.

In other news: go Mets!!!

why the delay at gravatar.com for my new friendly face?

@SanFranLefty: Which politically well-connected Bay Area company did the Labor Day weekend steel work that just snapped?

In other news, I sat through a mandatory 3-hour class yesterday on sexual harassment. I learned that, if there is an intra-office affair, it’s important that both people have a really good time.

Governator to SF: FUCK YOU in a bill sponsored by my Assemblyman…this after said Assemblyman (and occasional stand-up comedian/actor) told Arnie to “kiss my gay ass” when Arnie crashed a Democratic dinner here last week.

@Dodgerblue: Excremento-based C.C. Myers & Co., currently in bankruptcy court.

still
interesting things happening on the left coast today:

State lawmakers are holding a hearing on Wednesday on the effects of a bill that would legalize, tax and regulate the drug — in what would be the first such law in the United States. Tax officials estimate the legislation could bring the struggling state about $1.4 billion a year

that would be pot of course

@Capt Howdy: That bill is also sponsored by my Assemblyman, Tom Ammiano, former SF Supervisor for the Castro. Hopefully Arnie won’t veto that one.

@SanFranLefty:
he cant veto one of the three ballot measures coming up can he?
even if he can mess with the legislature?

@Capt Howdy: Nope, he can’t veto the ballot measures. But the bill might pass before next year’s election.

@SanFranLefty: Wow, a bankrupt contractor did shoddy work? What’s the going rate to pay off a building inspector up in your jurisdiction?

@SanFranLefty:
personally I think it would be so much better if the legislature did it.

@Dodgerblue: Since the bridge is a CalTrans, SF, and Oakland responsibility, my dear city can’t take all the credit for this SNAFU or the contracting. Although at this point the new bridge is 10 years late and $6 billion over budget.

@Capt Howdy: So do I. I’m not a big fan of direct democracy, which is what I tell the stoners outside Trader Joe’s trying to get signatures.

@SanFranLefty: I remember right after Loma Prieta, when I did use that bridge on an almost daily basis, it turned me into a regular BART rider and shortly thereafter I gave up my vehicle.

@SanFranLefty: What’s the over/under on this passing, do you think? I tend to think it might end up like homomarriage, with the legislature on board but the governator copping out with some “will-of-the-people” bullshit.

@Capt Howdy: Second that. If it can get past the gov’nuh. The whole proposition thing in this state has had mostly disastrous results.

@Benedick:

It could be worse: Caligutard could be teaching English.

@Capt Howdy:

With prescriptions easier to catch than swine flu, and dispensaries literally on every corner in LA, Mary Jane is pretty much legal in CA already.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: I heard a law enforcement type say recently that there are more marijuana dispensaries than Starbucks franchises in Los Angeles.

@Dodgerblue: @Pedonator: McSweeneys and the Public Press are doing a citizen funded old-school investigative journalism piece on the Bay Bridge delays, corruption, and cost overruns. Too bad the SF Chronic’s last five reporters can’t do that.

This thing is making the Big Dig seem like a smooth endeavor. There’s already been rumbles about the crappy Chinese-made concrete and steel going in to the new bridge…

@Dodgerblue: @SanFranLefty:

These are developed, very stylish operations as well. The one I go to has a jazz trio. It looks like an upscale boutique with a hippie flair- kind of like Lucky jeans, except with dope.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Pothead friend of mine predicts that within 10 years in California we’ll be discussing marijuana varietals with the same passion we do with wine.

@SanFranLefty: That is, unless Proposition 420 passes thanks to an infusion of cash from the LDS.

@SanFranLefty: Do you prefer indicas or sativas? I find the deeper, body buzz typical of an indica more relaxing. All we can get around here lately is Northern Lights and Purple Haze, I much prefer the haze, northern lights produces a sharp, tinny buzz, like a sauvignon blanc buzz, Haze is like a Pinot, an iron fist in a velvet glove.

@Prommie:

I like a hybrid hydroponic, like Pink Pussycat. Generally a nice, clear-headed high. Indica tends to make me drowsy, and a sativa sometimes will make me paranoid.

Of course, if you want a heavy, trippy, sit-around-and-watch films high, go with hash every time.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:
its like popular music. I cant keep up and I rely on my dealer who knows me and my needs.

@Prommie:
I’m not in charge of procurement, I don’t know what I’m smoking.

I always liked to eat it. Haven’t had any in years. Just as well I can’t find mescalin. I’d never be straight.

I will now step away from my computer while you all digest that last remark. Kthnxbai.

@Capt Howdy: the LDS could use an infusion of LSD

I’ve always thought Revelation was a bad acid trip.

@nojo:
there was a question going around the office the other day.

“if you really knew for a fact that December 21, 2012 was the end of the world, what would you do”.

I didnt even have to think about it.

take as much acid as I could find.

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