May the blessings of the season be upon you, and may you rot in hell for eternity.

Caught on tape Saturday in DC, spirited street performers reenact the juggernaut of healthcare reform moving slowly through the Senate while Republicans do what little they can to annoy their Democratic colleagues:

The off-duty detective, whose name has not been released, was driving past a snowball fight in the city when his Hummer was hit by snowballs. He allegedly stopped the car, got out, and took out his gun. He also pulled out a walkie-talkie and called for backup.

We really can’t improve on TPM’s succinct description, with a morsel of deliciousness in every clause. All we can do is savor Hummer… gun… backup… as slowly as possible, making sure not to miss each nuance of cascading wrongness.

D.C. Cop On Desk Duty After Pulling Gun At Snowball Fight [TPM]

HP introduces an amazing camera sensor that follows your face wherever it goes. As long as your face doesn’t absorb light.

[via Fake Steve Jobs]

Despite a busy year, the categories for the 2009 Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy are fewer than expected. The Nominations Death Panel considered many worthy submissions, but kept in mind our arbitrary rule: You don’t get an award for showing up. Only races where multiple nominees are expected were included in this year’s list.

To vote for an award, or threaten to undermine the process unless your pissant category is included, simply write a comment. Because these are qualitative awards, ballot-stuffing has no effect. On the other hand, judges can be bought, especially via our Amazon Kickback Link and Stinqueria purchases. It’s the American Way.

Winners will be announced next Monday, December 28. Which means we’ll be doing a lot of head-cropping next Sunday.

Read more »

What’s that? Metalocalypse is a rerun tonight? They couldn’t pay you to watch Mighty Boosh, even if you knew what the hell it was about?

You don’t have to settle for retreads or infomercials — not when the United States Senate is providing live programming at this ungodly hour on C-SPAN. So if insomnia is what ails ya, stick around for our Open Thread/Holiday Cloture Singalong for the cure. The Big Vote is scheduled for 1 a.m., and we’ll be here with a glass of warm milk to keep you company.

If you prefer sleep, no problem! There’s another cloture vote scheduled for 7 a.m. Tuesday. And still another set for 1 p.m. Wednesday. After which follows the real vote on the healthcare bill. If anyone’s still standing.

Senate On Deadline: The Timeline To Pass Health Care By Christmas [Newsweek]

A message to all members of Team Sarah: If you have not yet had a chance to sign the Team Sarah Christmas Card and post your Christmas message to the Palin family, please do so as soon as possible. The blog must close tonight at 9 p.m. EST so that it can be sent to Sarah Palin.

Thank you for caring and being a constant voice of reason. (Lollie Edwards)

We are so very thankful to have YOU and your wholesome communication skills on our side. (Bunny Keene)

If God intends for you to to be CIC, nothing can stop it. (No Obama)

Read more »

Title: “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies: A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols ”

Author: Michael P. Spradlin

Rank: 1,693

Blurb: “Christmas is on its way — and all the little boys and ghouls are dreaming of stockings filled with candied eyes and bleeding body parts.”

Review: “What really seals the deal is the zombie using his own intestines to decorate the Christmas tree.”

Customers Also Bought: “Glow In The Dark Zombies Playset”

Footnote: Searching for “zombies” at Amazon yields 50,390 results.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]