Our guest columnist this afternoon is celebrated barrister Orly Taitz, announcing her plans to run for California attorney general. Or California secretary of state. Or, for all we know, dog catcher.

Several of my supporters have recommended that I run for an office of the Secretary of State of Ca or Attorney General. As a secretary of State or attorney general I will have standing to try in court issues that were tabu to all of us as individuals. Here is a situation:

1. we don’t need 50 secretaries of state or 50 Attorney Generals suing Obama. If only one sues and gets discovery, we are done

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J. D. Salinger, Enigmatic Author, Dies at 91 [NYT]

Nothing we write can live up to the headline, so let’s just dish the facts:

Rep. Michele Bachmann has become the latest high-profile conservative to bag the rapidly unraveling Tea Party Convention in Nashville next week…

Bachmann’s office cited the same concerns that other Tea Party activists have voiced about the first-of-its-kind national gathering: namely, the for-profit model of organizer Judson Phillips, a self-described “small town lawyer” with a history of financial problems.

Still on board for the rapidly unraveling event: Sarah Palin, who’s picking up her standard six-figure paycheck for an appearance. Talibunny banquet-only tickets still available for only $349!

Oh, and “Tickets are non-refundable,” just in case you get any ideas.

Bachmann cancels Tea Party appearance [Star Tribune, via TPM]

So, what was Huggy Bear impersonator James O’Keefe doing in the New Orleans office of Mary Landrieu?

Guess again.

This is the point where we’d normally post an excerpt and riff on it. But our mind is so blown by the details, we can’t do that to you so early in the morning. No, we’re going to try to make sense of it. You can thank us by giving generously to the Nojo iPad Fund.

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We’re not fans of the Obama Teleprompter Meme, although we have to admit that setting up a pair in a classroom last week skews the optics. Of course, Administration flacks quickly corrected perceptions that Barry was talking to students — no, this was for the media, before the prompterless Q&A.

Which we like even better. It’s very easy to imagine this as the White House press room, which makes more sense of the level of intelligence on display there. And, for present purposes, it’s also quite easy to imagine this as Congress, with Joe Wilson heckling Teach from the back of the class.

So we’ll go with that, since we need some excuse to launch our State of the Union Open Thread/Cold Lunch. We swear we had something else prepared, but Bo ate our homework.

At least, that’s all we can make of this quote:

“It seems really convenient that this would happen now.”

King, one of thirty-one congresscritters supporting a House Resolution that offers “a debt of gratitude” from “the people of the United States” to our favorite accused felon, obviously has a stake in the matter, and we applaud him for not backing away from his faux-pimp advocacy.

Only we’re not sure that’s what he’s implying. Let’s check the original story:

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Andrew Breitbart, proprietor of the Big Government blog that first published the ACORN Pimp videos, is disgusted with the coverage of PimpGate:

Wait until the facts are in.

Mainstream Media, ACORN, Media Matters (all the supposed defenders of due process and journalistic ethics) are jumping to conclusions over the arrest today of James O’Keefe, with the clear intention to smear and, if possible, convict O’Keefe and his alleged co-conspirators in the court of public opinion in order to taint the “jury of their peers.”…

In other words, speculation is rampant, but facts are few. And basic logic suggests that there’s much more to this story since there is so little information.

Wise words. So let’s check Big Government’s original ACORN Pimp post from September 10, written by accused felon James O’Keefe:

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