The next time “homegrown terrorists” attack Bossier Parish, Louisiana, the volunteers of Operation Exodus will be ready. We certainly feel safer knowing they’re 1,568 miles away.

‘Operation Exodus’: Louisiana Sheriff Taps Locals For Emergency Security Plan [TPM]

Operation Exodus Emergency Plan Unveiled [Bossier Sheriff’s Office]

[Politico]

Gentlemen, start your engines — the London Sperm Bank is in desperate need of, um, deposits:

The bank is looking to answer the British Fertility Society’s call for clinics to invest in dedicated recruitment programmes to address a national shortage of donors.

As a result, the Colchester consultancy was tasked with designing a brand identity as well as a dedicated website which raises awareness of the banks role within the wider community.

Yes, the new logo certainly raises our, uh, awareness. Can we get that on custom checks?

London Sperm Bank brand designed by Silk Pearce [The Drum, via Daring Fireball]

London Sperm Bank

Then again, Republicans don’t fold the tables and leave when the news hits:

Rep. Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) will not seek reelection — after only one term in office.

According to several House aides on both sides of the aisle, the House ethics committee has been informed of allegations that Massa, who is married with two children, sexually harassed a male staffer.

Massa told POLITICO Wednesday afternoon that no one has brought allegations of misconduct to him.

Well, that’s one of the more vacant denials we’ve heard lately.

Eric Massa to retire amid allegations he sexually harassed a male staffer [Politico]

Update: Massa says it ain’t so:

He said the reports of harassment by a male staffer are “unsubstantiated without fact or backing” and “are a symptom of what’s wrong with this city.”

That’s more like it. Although since Politico is sourcing its story to “several House aides on both sides of the aisle,” we might not have heard the last.

Rep. Eric Massa Says He Won’t Seek Reelection In ‘Final Phase’ Of His Life [TPM]

Meet Alan Frumin. He’s the Senate Parliamentarian. He’s worked there for thirty-three years. He’ll be making the calls whether elements of healthcare reform are qualified under arcane reconciliation rules.

And Republicans have decided to nail his ass to the wall.

No, they have no sense of decency. Why do you ask?

Republicans cast doubts on Senate parliamentarian [Politico]

President Obama: Congress Owes Nation ‘Final Vote’ On Health Care [TPM]

Saint Ronnie’s coming to the Fifty, if North Carolina’s Patrick McHenry has his way. We’d settle for Reagan on a three-dollar bill, just to validate one of our friend’s favorite sayings.

Proposal would put Ronald Reagan’s face on the $50 bill [LAT, via ThinkProgress]

We do our best to ignore Liz Cheney, in part because we haven’t yet figured out why anybody else pays attention to her. But with the release of her fearmongering group’s latest video, impugning the motives of lawyers who defended Gitmo detainees — calling them the “Al Qaeda Seven” — we’re forced to reveal our theory for her prominence:

Liz Cheney is a living Horcrux.

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