Twelve fucking hours watching C-SPAN Sunday. We’d like to revise and extend our sanity.

Finally, at last, we really mean it this time, the latest Long National Nightmare is over begins today never ends…

Fuck it. We reached the derangement of our senses a long time ago with healthcare reform, and there’s no hope of recovery. But to the best of our ever-faulty knowledge, today’s final debate opens at 1 p.m., with two votes commencing around 3 p.m.

Yes: two. If you missed Saturday’s action, Demon Pass is dead. Instead, the House will bite the bullet, first voting for the Senate bill, and then, if it passes, the reconciliation measure.

Unless everything changes. In which case, you’ll just have to follow our House vote Open Thread/Closing Ceremony for all the twists. Remember to drink at each threat of secession.

Title: “American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies, and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us”

Authors: Jesse Ventura and Dick Russell

Rank: 32

Blurb: “Unanswered questions remain about how the towers were brought down and whether a plane really struck the Pentagon.”

Review: “Ventura is the conspiracy action figure that America needs the most now.”

Customers Also Bought: “Rothschild’s Choice: Barack Obama and the Hidden Cabal Behind the Plot to Murder America”

Footnote: Why go to the trouble? Just check corporate political donations. Or Fox News. Most American conspiracies are hidden in plain sight.

American Conspiracies [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

It’s Tyranny Weekend, and Teabaggers are out in force to make sure the Kenyan Usurper doesn’t hand America over to the Good Samaritans Godless Commies:

People with ties to Glenn Beck’s 9-12 Project, Tea Party Boise and other conservative causes plan a protest outside Rep. Walt Minnick’s office this weekend, with the claim that the Idaho Democrat co-sponsored one of the health care bills that Congress is considering.

That’ll show him! Don’t let Walt Minnick sell you out!

Oh, and never mind that Minnick didn’t sponsor the healthcare bill, didn’t vote for the House version, and won’t vote for the revisions.

Read more »

Rep. Paul Broun (R-Tara): “If ObamaCare passes, that free insurance card that’s in people’s pockets is gonna be as worthless as a Confederate dollar after the War Between The States — the Great War of Yankee Aggression.” [ThinkProgress]

Kentucky, a state that rightly celebrates its proud traditions of drinking and gambling, isn’t as indulgent when it comes to teenagers enjoying themselves:

Under current law, teens caught sexting could be charged as felony sex offenders and, if convicted, would have to be registered on the state database.

This is manifestly absurd, which is why state Rep. Martha Jane King is working hard to strike the law from the books.

And replace it with another law:

According to HB 143, a teen charged with sexting would be punished in the juvenile justice system, where a judge could issue a $100 fine for first-time offenders, order community service and work with the child’s parents.

We know, we know — charging teenagers with a misdemeanor for iPorning themselves sends a dangerous message to Kentucky’s impressionable youth.

That’s why you would only catch a break with the first nekkid picture. The second one’s still a felony.

Kentucky tries to craft fitting punishment for ‘sexting’ [McClatchy]

“For most of the time they have been, and you know, I don’t mean any disrespect, but they’ve been treason media.” [ThinkProgress]