Wired, 4:17 p.m. Thursday:

Readers of Richard Clarke’s new book Cyberwar who want to jump to the steamy parts should start at page 64…

Chinese hackers take down the Pentagon’s classified and unclassified networks, trigger explosions at oil refineries, release chlorine gas from chemical plants, disable air traffic control, cause trains to crash into each other, delete all data — including offsite backups — held by the federal reserve and major banks, then plunge the country into darkness by taking down the power grid from coast-to-coast. Thousands die immediately. Cities run out of food, ATMs shut down, looters take to the streets.

Wired, three hours earlier:

On Thursday, Coles, an Australian supermarket chain, said 1,100 checkout terminals crashed… so it temporarily closed several stores in that country. An Intel spokesman in California acknowledged the problem at its headquarters was “significant.” Kentucky State Police lost use of their their entire IT infrastructure, and hospitals in Rhode Island postponed elective surgeries.

Russian mafia hackers? Chinese cyberterrorists? Skynet?

No, silly. Botched automated antivirus-software update. It’s easier to break in when you leave the door open.

Dick Cheney on telling Patrick Leahy to go fuck himself: “You’d be surprised how many people liked that. That’s sort of the best thing I ever did.” No, shooting the lawyer in the face was better. [Think Progress]

“Massey Energy, the Virginia-based coal giant that runs the Upper Big Branch Mine, has denied time off for miners to attend their friends’ funerals; has rejected makeshift memorials outside the mine site; and, in at least one case, required a worker to go on shift even though the fate of a relative — one of the victims of the April 5 disaster — remained unknown at the time.” Massey denies the funeral refusals. [Washington Independent, via Think Progress]

“A Republican congressman from North Carolina has proposed legislation that would replace the image of President Ulysses S. Grant on the fifty dollar bill with that of President Ronald Reagan.” 79 percent of Americans think that’s a bad idea. As do 71 percent of Republicans. [Marist Poll, via Political Wire]

Craigslist [via TPM]

Bartering is effective in many instances [Las Vegas Review-Journal]

NRSC: Dems ‘Try To Inject Farm Animals’ Into NV-SEN With Attacks On Lowden’s Chicken Comments [TPM]

Next time we hear a diatribe about debasing the currency, we may have to agree — this abomination is worth less than a hundred loonies.

U.S. Government Unveils New Design for the $100 Note [newmoney.gov]

Get Helvetica Off Our Money [via Daring Fireball]

[via Media Matters]