“Exactly a century after rumours of his death turned out to be entirely accurate, one of Mark Twain’s dying wishes is at last coming true: an extensive, outspoken and revelatory autobiography which he devoted the last decade of his life to writing is finally going to be published.” [Independent UK]

8:25 pm. When we got our iPad, one of the first things we tested was the streaming-video Netflix app, and we decided to test that with the Lost pilot. We’ve never seen the Lost pilot. We heard it was really good. But as they say, hearing is the second thing to go.

At some point over the past six or seven or eleventy years, we must have seen an episode. It was so padded with filler and flashbacks, we never watched another. Until tonight.

Why tonight? We don’t want to write about Rand Paul again, so we need some gimmick.

Also, we grew up on television. Among our earliest memories is watching the Fugitive finale at our aunt’s house. The Fugitive finale was stunning. He caught the One-Armed Man. The End.

Everyone was shocked. There had never been a The End on an American television series. There wouldn’t be another until Mary Tyler Moore’s Traveling Group Hug. These days, of course, we get 150-minute specials.

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The Onion on the NYT on Foursquare:

“Foursquare is a little bit of everything — a friend-finder, a local city guide, an interactive mobile game,” said company cofounder Dennis Crowley, as if reading from the same tired script used by every one of these Web 2.0 or whatever-the-fuck-they’re-called startups. “But more than that, Foursquare is an [endless string of meaningless buzzwords we just couldn’t bring ourselves to transcribe].”

Added Crowley, “[Who gives a shit].”

Actually, we’re just jealous we can’t blithely spout geek marketing jargon to Silicon Valley venture capitalists. Edwin Newman fucked us up for life.

New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It [The Onion]

Title: “George Washington’s Sacred Fire”

Author: Peter A. Lillback, President of the Westminster Theological Seminary

Rank: 1

Blurb: “Dr. Lillback paints a picture of a man, who, faced with unprecedented challenges and circumstances, ultimately drew upon his persistent qualities of character — honesty, justice, equity, perseverence, piety, forgiveness, humility, and servant leadership, to become one of the most revered figures in world history.”

Review: Buckle up…

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“[Nevada] election officials on Friday added chicken suits to the list of banned items after weeks of ridicule directed at Republican Senate candidate Sue Lowden… Under the new rule, chicken costumes will be banned along with political buttons, shirts, hats and signs within 100 feet of polling places.” [AP/MSNBC, via PourMeCoffee]

We’re having a hard time telling the difference between blind faith in private property and blind faith in free markets. Especially since both have proven apocalyptically disastrous.

Defending Rand Paul, Part II [Dave Weigel/WaPo]

Thirty years ago today, The Empire Strikes Back opened, and the world was blissfully unaware of Ewoks.