I Am Your Only Decent Sequel, Luke

Thirty years ago today, The Empire Strikes Back opened, and the world was blissfully unaware of Ewoks.


this made me laugh

At Thursday’s (May 13) “Lost Live: The Final Celebration,” ABC Studios
executive Barry Jossen read a letter from George Lucas to executive
producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse.

Congratulations on pulling off an amazing show. Don’t tell anyone … but
when ‘Star Wars’ first came out, I didn’t know where it was going either.
The trick is to pretend you’ve planned the whole thing out in advance. Throw
in some father issues and references to other stories — let’s call them
homages — and you’ve got a series.

Afterward Lindelof said, “I just want to apologize to Mr. George Lucas for
everything I said about the prequels …”

um, George, no one was fooled.

I thought it was the best Star Wars films.

Yes, Nojo. The greatest tragedy of ESB wasn’t Luke losing his hand or Solo getting deep freezed, but it lead to the Ewoks, the moment when Lucas went to the dark dork side and really sold out.

Lucas ESB wasn’t much for dialogue, but
“I love you…”
“I know.”

Hey – we have a dog named Ewok, although he’s about the size of Chewie.

@ManchuCandidate: It’s like the “They Were Expendable” of the Star Wars films. Just when things go to hell, they get worse.

@ManchuCandidate: Can’t credit Lucas for that. It was Ford’s ad lib.

@redmanlaw: Don’t let me catch Ewok doing a Happy Dance, or I may lose control.

I hate to admit it but I kinda like that little Ewok tribal song thingie, you know, “Jub-jub! Juh-uh-uh-jub!”. It’s catchy and it has a beat you can dance to.


wasn’t much for dialogue

if anyone doubts:

“I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.”


I miss Pauline Kael. Did you ever read her review of “The Breakfast Club”? So smart, such an amazing mind she had.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I don’t recall that review (I often quote “Marvellous fun” from Tootsie, just for those New Yorker double-Ls), but I read her from the early ’80s until there was nothing left to read.

She also called the General an hommage à moi. I don’t know when she tore Lucas a fresh one, but clearly he remembered it.

Your “feel better about flying” item of the day:
A JetBlue pilot was forced to surrender his gun at Boston’s Logan International Airport Friday, after he allegedly claimed that he might hurt himself, the Associated Press reports. No one was injured before Massachusetts police confiscated the weapon, and the pilot has since been admitted for medical examination. In spite of the incident, the pilot was not charged with illegal possession of a firearm, leading some to suspect that he may have been given the weapon as part of the Federal Flight Deck Officer program, instituted after 9/11 as a security measure. Under the program, approximately 10,000 pilots have been deputized and are carrying handguns in case of emergency. Officials have declined to release the pilot’s name or comment on his possible participation in the program.

@Mistress Cynica:
saw that and had exactly the same thought.

like we need another reason for angst about flying

@ManchuCandidate: @TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Here, let’s let Gruber clear that up…

Irvin Kershner directed. That part I remember. It was said at the time that he gave the film depth Lucas wasn’t capable of.

Lawrence “Jake’s Dad” Kasdan and Leigh Brackett wrote the screenplay, from Lucas’s notes. Kasdan you know, or should; Brackett also wrote The Big Sleep, Rio Bravo, and The Long Goodbye.

I vaguely recall Lucas promising once never to direct again. Too bad he didn’t keep his word.

@Mistress Cynica: That’s not the one about the commercial pilot who flew for years without formal training? Well, one shock a day.

Wait, Empire Strikes Back and Pac-Man were released on the same day? Holy shit!

And that day was 30 years ago? How is it possible?

ESB was the first movie I saw where a boy tried to hold my hand in the theater. It was summer camp, they took all us kids to see it. He was a few years older than me and he reached down and grabbed my hand. Unclear if he was making a move or he was scared. Nonetheless, nowadays, he’d be arrested and forced to register as a sex offender.

@Mistress Cynica: Is he pretty? If he isn’t pretty I see no reason that I should have to know about him. I only want pretty news with pretty people.

@nojo: Depth? There are ewoks. Ewoks cancel depth.

And just so we understand (and don’t make me stop this car AGAIN): No reviewer has ever been right about anything ever. EVER. (I long to see the NYT fold so that I can see Ben Brantley walking up and down outside Sonheim’s Turtle Bay townhouse with a sign saying “Will get it wrong for beach house payments”)

Did you know going in that DV was Luke’s father (spoiler alert)? It was ruined for me by some jackass coming out of the previous showing as we were in line.

Looking back now, the strangest thing about ESB is the kiss between Luke and Leia. Ick.

And can someone explain to me how Leia was taken by Senator Jimmy Smits when she was born but ended up a Princess daughter of a white dude?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: TheStarterWife (whom some may recall from Defamer) tweeted last night that ESB’s twist would never survive Twitter.

@nojo: If it’s the same TSW from Deadspin, then yes.

To this day, I get antsy in movie lines and not just because I hate people and crowds. I took my mom to see Sherlock Holmes on Christmas. Surprisingly, that movie had a line-up situation going and the whole time I stood arms crossed, fists clenched, waiting for some asshole to give me a reason to make the baby Jeezus cry.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Yup, that’s her. Seems to like hockey.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Matinees and Fandango. Bypass the box office, flash the printout and you’re in, unless you stop for popcorn. I get the snax while Son of RML finds the seats.

@redmanlaw: I’m all about the 10am Saturday matinee, but this was one of my mom’s last minute decisions and movies that open on xmas always have the line outside the theater doors even if you manage to avoid the box office line outside.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I’m probably the only person here, except perhaps Benedict, who saw “DV” and immediately thought “Diana Vreeland.”

@Mistress Cynica: No. I read her memoir and thought her a fraud before looking at the hideous way she displayed clothes at the Met. Only interesting detail was how she got the top couturiers of the day to dress such an ugly woman for free. She also informed us how Wallis Simpson managed the same trick (BJ). And why Chanel #5 was given that name. She was a drag queen manqué forerunner of that inconsequential woman who runs that Beast thing.

Fascinating detail from Vreeland campery: in the old world of whiteness one’s valet would polish one’s heirloom quality shoes, made in London in that shop that kept one’s last, with a rhinoscerous horn.

Pardon me but – phootie! – I spit on you worthless Vreeland liar bitch and your pathetic crimson lounge.

@Benedick: I love hating Tina. If you have anything bad to say about Tina, sit by me.

@lynnlightfoot: I think my New Yorker subscription was due to expire a few weeks after she took over. Her first issue arrived, I read it, and immediately recycled the renewal notice.

@nojo: I hope you’ve resumed with the New Yorker since David Remnick took over. Thank God Tina is long gone. She is very strange, and not in an interesting way.

@lynnlightfoot: I did resume the New Yorker with the Iraq War, but just let it drop again. The iPad is the Death of Print. At least in the Batcave.

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