Rand’s Highway to Hell

In 2008 when his father Ron was running for the GOP nomination for President, Rand(al) Paul went campaigning for dear old dad in Montana, where he expounded upon his fear that there was a conspiracy to create a shared currency of an “Amero” for all of North America, as well as a “NAFTA Superhighway” that would connect Mexico, the U.S., and Canada and destroy our national identity.

There is no NAFTA Superhighway, but the conspiracy theory is widely shared by nationalist wingnuts. Newsweek described the conspiracy theory as “a strange stew of fact and fiction, fired by paranoia” popularized by Jerome Corsi, the man who led the Swift Boat attacks on John Kerry in 2004.

To wit:

Q: What does Ron Paul want to do to fight the prospect of a North American Union and an Amero?

Rand Paul: Well I think publicizing it is the first thing, publicizing that it’s going on. Trying to get the legislature to stop it, through official acts of Congress. You know any time he talks about it, though, the media tries to make fun of him as if it doesn’t exist. But I think in Montana, your state legislature has talked about the North American Union. Texas has had several votes about the corridor, they just call it a different name, they call it the trans-Texas corridor.

Q: It comes right through here.

Rand Paul: Yeah, it’s the same thing. It’s gonna go up through Texas, I guess, all the way to Montana. So, it’s a real thing, and when you talk about it, the thing you just have to be aware of is that, if you talk about it like it’s a conspiracy, they’ll paint you as a nut. It’s not a conspiracy, they’re out in the open about it. I saw the YouTube of Vincente Fox talking about the Amero. So, it’s not a secret.

Despite my expectations, there was no discussion of the UN’s black helicopters bringing fluoridation to Missoula.

Rand Paul, the gift that keeps on giving.


I swear, the new RW/TB agenda comes straight from the old Art Bell radio show and rense.com.

Pretty much the Clinton Black Helo gang but with more senility and beginnings of dementia.

@redmanlaw: Ah, Art Bell. Never listened to him myself, but a Riverside museum colleague was a big fan. Ironically, of course.

He saw the YouTube thing about the Amero!

It’s a fact!

Yeah, and I know this guy. Lives in the dumpster behind the SafeWay, except on thursday afternoons when the truck comes. Yeah, and that fucking guy used to be the chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of Lansing and knows that plan is well underway. Fact!

We could craft the best ad in the world using this stuff, and the KY voters would vote for this douchebag anyway. And I’m sure he’ll bring up FEMA concentration camps next.

He don’t know karate, but he sure knows KA-RAY-ZEE!

I want pretty. This aint pretty. I need pretty.


The only CIL(Hate)F is Aaron Schock. Not bad looking, hawt bod, but good FSM when he opens his mouth–ugh! He’s Sarah Palin with a dick. Exhibit A why the FSM created the ball gag.

Is Rand Paul the Great White Dope?

@Original Andrew: I don’t want hate fuck. I want PRETTY.

I am about to launch my PRETTY campaign. This is how the left do tea baggery. John HanCOCK? Why was Paul RuPaul riding through the night? They was gonna bust the P’Town disco?

You want my vote? Show me your abs! Oh yeah! Mmm mm!

@Original Andrew:

I wouldn’t touch that with Benedick’s dick.

Look, y’all:




Not Hotness

You’re welcome.

Related – from the Onion:

US protests Mexi-Canadian overpass

The Onion’s version of Xander Crews’s “Spic Span”? :)

Mr. What No Honeymoon? has canceled his date with Press the Meat. Awwwww!

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Why is that man crying? What did you do? Did you cancel the honeymoon?

But yay. These are pols I could get behind. In a big way.

@Benedick: Those are tears of pure deliciousness.

I particularly want to know #1’s position on middle-aged father figures. From behind, as you say.

@karen marie: It just cannot get better than this. Randtard Paultard, is a scared rabbittard. The kitchen is too hot, for this one. This is full meltdown.

@karen marie: Libertariantards talk a mean streak of tough talk, when among their little psychotic cultmembers who will cheer their racism and idiocy, but oh noes, now Rand has to talk to people who react to his statements, the same statements that raise cheers among his fellow cult-members, by looking at him like he has three heads. These people, they simply don’t see the perfect logic and absolute truth of the cult’s teachings. It must be jarring, to have to confront, um, reality, sanity, when you are a fucktard.

@Promnight: He’s ahead in the polls, isn’t he? Kicking ass, last time I checked.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I generally like my men to weigh more and have more body hair than I do, but I see what you’re saying.

I’m a little disturbed about the pile-on against Randtards, or really Libertariantards in general. Yes, Rand has a tendency to spout stupidity on camera, and no doubt he’s a racist douchenozzle of the highest degree. But remember, he’s a politician.

Let’s have a moment of introspection here. What have the Demrats done for you lately? The rampant hypocrisy of Obama re: civil liberties leaves me breathless.

In some thread on some blog I passed through recently, maybe it was Salon, someone asked why nobody from the MSM asked Rand what he thought about our adventures occupations abroad. And why they never asked about true civil libertarian issues.

I’m not defending Rand, not at all, but I’m fucking tired of party politics that blur all distinctions of actual policy.

Obama is a BIG FAIL. I don’t want him to get death threats or anything, but to pretend his administration is anything other than a continuation of the corporatist agenda is just willful pollyanna dreamtime.

The only question deemed acceptable in the public “conversation” is: which way would you like to serve the oligarchy?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg:

Hey now, Aaron Schock would be plenty hawt with his ankles on my shoulders.

@karen marie:

Awww, no Beat the Press? Is he afraid he might get a hickey on his ass from David Gregory kissing too hard?


Yeah, that’s kinda been the punchline with the whole Randtard thang. A third to half-ish of our population is basically insane, so his incoherent, sociopathic ramblings make perfect sense to them.

@Original Andrew: But just like a broken clock is correct twice a day, Rand and Dad share more than one might think with the positions of, say, Kucinich, particularly regarding military adventures overseas and the bizarre status of the Federal Reserve and its strange power over the econofme.

Not to excuse the other crazy ideas they have, like that somehow the magic market will cure all ills, but fuck, they do seem more rational on some issues than almost anyone else in the Demrat/Repug monopoly.

Just saying, it’s easy to throw spitballs at these guys but the ones we voted into power are absolutely no better.

@PedonatorUSA: Weigel’s been trying to defend (or at least explain) Randy for having a sophisticated, nuanced Libertarian perspective on things.

Just one problem: Randy himself keeps running away from it. If there’s a case to be made, he’s not doing a good job making it. That’s what happens when you’ve been politically coddled all your life.

To the general point, I’ll say it again: Enjoy the circus. We’ll get to Bagram sooner or later.

@nojo: I agree that from what little I’ve seen of Rand, he’s no Ron. Not that I think Ron is great and good. But it does seem young Rand is more politically malleable than Dad Paul. And probably not as “sophisticated” or “nuanced”, especially whilst trying to establish himself in Kentucky.

NOT that I agree with most of either of their public platforms. I just like the civil libertarian and anti-war-mongering aspects. I guess those are minor issues when considered in the larger context of all-important Party loyalty. Where do I turn in my red scarf?

Please DO get to Bagram. That is an Obamanation. He owns it now, and everyone needs to call him on it. It’s fucking disgusting.

@PedonatorUSA: Maybe I’ll get to Bagram next week. Honestly, I don’t know where Greenwald finds the time…

Here’s the problem: Wingnuts are easy (and fun!) for quick hits. Barry’s transgressions are always complicated, requiring context and understanding. You can’t just raspberry them and be done, like so much of his predecessor’s work. And while I’m writing longer more frequently (thanks, iPad!), it’s still a chore. I want to do subjects like that justice, not just paste in Glenn and be done. That’s Sully’s job.

@nojo: I love GG, but we don’t need him to tell us what is right and wrong.

I understand, a blog is for fun, it’s not investigative journalism with all the resources that once were dedicated to that cause.

I just can’t hop on the hayride of indiscriminately cheering Obama / Democrats and jeering Republicans/Anyone else who dares to challenge the Holy Paradigm of left/right, conservative/liberal, there’s-always-two-sides-and-only-two-sides to every argument that seems to infect our political discourse.

@PedonatorUSA: It’s not that we need Greenwald to tell us which way the wind blows, but someone has to do the research, and perhaps frame the issue. That takes work. Just bringing this stuff to our attention can’t be taken for granted.

And me, I’ve always taken my fun seriously. But what I do, by and large, is caricature. My job is made easier when one side is acting in sheer bad faith, and more difficult when the other side is acting in mixed bad faith.

Despite his continuation and expansion of notorious policies, Barry is not Bush. We’re not dealing with a crew that thinks it can redefine reality to suit its whims. We are dealing with a crew that appears to have a callous disregard for civil liberties. It’s not ideological, but unprincipled pragmatism. And that’s a lot more difficult to nail with a quick hit and pop-culture reference.

@nojo: We’re not dealing with a crew that thinks it can redefine reality to suit its whims.

I would question that assumption. Do you not think Rahm views reality as plastic just waiting to be injected into his mold? Really, do you think he doesn’t have a cigar with Karl Rove in some smoke-filled back room where they share a laugh at the gullibility of the average US American bear?

I’m not trying to harsh on you or any Stinquers, I just insist on preserving my own perspective. Which is that everything is going to shit, humanity is due for a huge correction, and it doesn’t matter much what we write in blog comments.

Barry may not be Bush, but I don’t think that matters when we have a government that, under whatever executive, is wholly owned by corporations who by law are wholly focused on the bottom line.

We have a shitstorm of mass-extinction-level events facing us: climate change, peak oil (which, arguably, could avert climate change if it wasn’t already too late), water shortages, the extinction of almost all life in the seas including the various plankton that form the basis of the food chain, deforestation, a world economy dependent on the cornucopian myth of infinite growth…and I’m sure I’m missing a few catastrophic trends.

The fact that NOBODY in the public political or media mainstream is willing to even open serious discussion about these things bodes ill for the survival of industrial civilization.

And maybe that’s a good thing. The industrial part, I mean. If the collapse comes soon enough, perhaps some segment of the human race, after a period of cannibal anarchy, will survive another few hundreds of thousands of years.

Got home from a party in Albuquerque about 2 am, check in on this thread and what comes on VH1’s Metal Mania show but AC/DC doing “Highway to Hell” (unfortunately with the guy who is not Bon Scott, but oh well).

\m/, – metal!

@PedonatorUSA: Number one, randtard paultard’s problem is exactly that he is NOT a politician, as is becoming clear. And I am certainly not going to turn to the libertarians, for solace from the weakness of the dems; their agenda is to turn everything over to business, even the roads. They are less in the service of the oligarchy how? Their position is, no antitrust legislation, if a company gets so big it can dominate, it deserves to dominate, this is good how?

I am firmly libertarian on social issues, but on economic issues, the libertarians are, absolutely, worse than the worst democrats. And there is the racism thingy. And the social darwinism, let the poor starve, they are losers, taxes are slavery, thats all batshit insanity.

@redmanlaw: Woke up for second day in a row at 3:30 AM, jet lag is a Debbie Downer. Decided to download the full “Exile” re-issue. Rocks are getting off.

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