Everything you ever wanted to know about coffee, but wayyyyy too fast if you’re only on your first java of the day.

Coffee: Greatest Addiction Ever [Grey’s Blog, via Daring Fireball]

Herman Cain to Sean Hannity about a Daily Show clip: “And I said well Sean first of all if [Jon Stewart] really thinks that I’m serious about a bill only being three pages, the joke’s on him. And I said secondly, as far as him mocking me, look I’ve been called every name in the book because I’m a conservative, because I’m black.” [ThinkProgress]

Chuck Schumer, levying a bold charge against Republicans in January 2009:

“If they oppose even something so suited to their tastes ideologically, it shows that they’re just opposing anything that helps create jobs,” Schumer added. “It almost makes you wonder if they aren’t trying to slow down the economic recovery for political gain.”

Oops, we’re sorry — that was yesterday. What we meant to say is that Rush Limbaugh showed his hand in January 2009:

“I hope Obama fails.”

The GOP strategy from the start has been no secret: Prevent Barack Obama from scoring any political or practical victory, by any means necessary. The Party of No didn’t emerge from Principled Opposition — that’s no Democrat healthcare reform that barely passed, and that’s no Democrat cap & trade program that failed — but from fear that if Obama actually fixed the economy, his re-election would be guaranteed.

Hell, Mitch McConnell would have taken a bullet for Osama bin Laden, just to stop Obama from getting credit for the hit.

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Provocateur Ian Murphy, who played David Koch for Scott Walker, punks James O’Keefe with the offer of a $100 bill earned from “selling” crack pipes: “And he fucking took it. He took my crack pipe money, slipped it in his coat pocket, shook my hand and bolted back the way we came. I rode the elevator down to the first floor, cackling like an absolute madman. Best hundo I’ve ever spent.” [Buffalo Beast, via Raw Story]

“Though Palin and her staff never announced a timeline for the remaining legs of her trip, aides had drafted preliminary itineraries that would have taken her through the Midwest and Southeast at some point this month. But those travel blueprints are now in limbo, RCP has learned, as Palin and her family have reverted to the friendly confines of summertime Alaska, where the skies are currently alight for over 19 hours a day and the Bristol Bay salmon fishing season is nearing its peak.” [RealClearPolitics]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibEdgQJEdTA

We spent ten hours Tuesday on the geek equivalent of disassembling and reassembling a lawnmower engine. This is what it felt like by Hour 6.

[via Nerdist]

Bristol Palin’s memoirs are out Friday — she’s 20, why do you ask? — and the dirt is flying:

The most biting words in the book are reserved for Johnston, Palin’s high school boyfriend and the father of her 2-year-old son, Tripp. Palin was drunk on wine coolers when she lost her virginity to Johnston while camping. She writes that she “didn’t know that girly flavored wine coolers were just as likely to get you drunk as the hard stuff.”

Speaking of the hard stuff, you know what knocks you up?

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