Title: “This Is Herman Cain!: My Journey to the White House”

Author: Herman Cain!

Rank: 10

Blurb: “If you care about the future of America, you have heard of the down-to-earth political newcomer running for president, the straight-talking man of the people with blunt assessments of what America needs. Originally overlooked by mainstream politicos and media, Herman Cain[!] is truly a candidate from ‘outside the Beltway,’ but no longer one who is being ignored. BUT WHO IS HE?”

Read more »

On this Columbus Day weekend, The Management would like to take a moment to celebrate American Exceptionalism.

Ohio: “Beards, Hair Cut Off In Amish-On-Amish Attacks: Members of a group of families disavowed by mainstream Amish have cut the beards off men and the hair off a half-dozen or more men and women, Jefferson County Sheriff Fred Abdalla said. He said the cutting apparently was meant to be degrading.” [AP]

Florida: “On Monday, Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, filed HB 4063 to repeal the law. He says he doesn’t condone the dwarf tossing but he thinks the prohibition takes away freedoms and is against the American way… A representative of the Little People of America said the group hasn’t had time to study the bill but he raised concerns about the safety of people with dwarfism being thrown.” [Florida Current]

New Mexico: “A grocery store worker accused of handing out a semen-tainted yogurt sample at an Albuquerque market pleaded guilty Thursday. Under terms of his plea agreement, Anthony Garcia admitted he tainted a sample of the yogurt he was handing out at Sunflower Market in January. He also admitted putting some of his semen on a plastic spoon that he placed with the yogurt.” [AP, via JNOV]

Enough whispers! Let’s finally put this on the folding table:

Dr. Robert Jeffress, a Dallas pastor and leader of the Southern Baptist Convention introduced Rick Perry before a nearly full crowd at the Values Voter Summit in Washington Friday.

He also gave Perry his formal endorsement. After Perry’s speech, Jeffress expounded to reporters about his belief (and the formal position of the SBC) that Mormonism is “a cult.”

Whoops! Call out the fire brigade!

Read more »

Now that Sarah Palin doesn’t matter, it’s gonna be difficult to maintain interest in her, but before we shove her down the Memory Hole to join Glenn Beck (Who? Right.), let’s do one more round for old times’ sake:

“Hank Williams and what he is going through now, I think it’s a very clear illustration of a greater societal problem and that is the hypocrisy on the left — the liberals who can throw these stones at a conservative and they knowing that they’re not going to be held accountable,” Palin said on Sean Hannity’s radio show Thursday…

“It’s a one way street and we’re always walking on eggshells, aren’t we?” she said. “You know, like, oh gees, if I say that is somebody going to misinterpret it or spin it as something that is quote unquote racist or sexist or anything else? But the other side … they can say whatever they want and nobody calls them out on it. I think it’s pretty disgusting.”

Yes, well, just what did Junior say?

Read more »

In April 1946, Captain Marvel faced an evil foe who invented the most heinous gadget imaginable. Thank god that shit didn’t catch on.

Bizarro Back Issues: Captain Marvel and the Peace Ray [Comics Alliance]

Our guest columnist is Rick Perry supporter and Generals International cofounder Cindy Jacobs, praising Perry’s August prayer meeting. Generals International is devoted to “achieving societal transformation through intercession and the prophetic”.

So you go and so you study the area and you find out what happened, what did the indigenous people worship, you know?

And… and… and… if they did blood sacrifice, like, we found some areas where they were very violent because the former culture was a murderous violent… like in Texas here and all the coast around Houston and Galveston and some other areas the Native American people were cannibals, you know?

And they ate people.

Read more »

Hank Williams, Jr.: “After reading hundreds of e-mails, I have made MY decision. By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It’s been a great run.”