GOP Airs Its Dirty Magic Laundry

Enough whispers! Let’s finally put this on the folding table:

Dr. Robert Jeffress, a Dallas pastor and leader of the Southern Baptist Convention introduced Rick Perry before a nearly full crowd at the Values Voter Summit in Washington Friday.

He also gave Perry his formal endorsement. After Perry’s speech, Jeffress expounded to reporters about his belief (and the formal position of the SBC) that Mormonism is “a cult.”

Whoops! Call out the fire brigade!

Rick Perry does not believe Mormonism is a cult. But he’s not going to condemn his brand-new endorser who does.

That’s the word from Team Perry after Southern Baptist Convention chief and Texas pastor Robert Jeffress endorsed Perry at the Voters Values Summit Friday and immediately set about claiming Mitt Romney is a member of a cult and is not a Christian.

Because, after all, your bigotry is your own damn business:

“The governor doesn’t judge what is in the heart and soul of others,” Perry campaign spokesperson Mark Miner told reporters, according to tweets from several correspondents. “He leaves that to God.”

Question: Is that what Rick tells himself when he executes innocent men?

Perry Camp On New Anti-Mormon Endorser: Perry ‘Doesn’t Judge What Is In The Heart And Soul Of Others’ [TPM]

Crap like this is the only reason why xtian Fundie Dominionism will fail as a political force in US America. Which sect gets dominion?

Gee, you make it sound it like an oligarchy run by a gerontocracy.

@Jesuswalksinidaho: Ha! You need big bank to support Thomas S. Monson’s Pepsi addiction and his dialysis. How much did they pay for the Salamander Letter?

Those aren’t real garments, BTW. They are missing the sacred symbols and she isn’t wearing her bra OVER her top. Just sayin’,

Whoops! Call out the fire brigade!

Garments protect you from fire and shit. Seriously.

@JNOV: Wait, the bra goes over her top? I was just looking at the pic and figured it must go underneath. So like if you’re a Mormon chick and you want to go running* you put your sports bra on over that thing? WTF?

Has Mittens ever been photographed wearing shorts? Do the super-long boxers poke out of the bottom of the shorts?

* NOTE: I have no idea how many Mormon women regularly go running, I played soccer and ran track with a few Mormon girls in H.S. and I don’t remember them wearing the magic underpants or undershirts – is it something you do once you go out to Africa to convert people?

@SanFranLefty: Yup — nothing comes between Mitt and his garments. You wear them all the time after you get endowed (i.e. go through the temple). They have special ones for service folk, and there are times you don’t have to wear them (swimming, bathing), although some think you have to wear them all the time, even during sex.

They used to look like long johns, well, they were long johns, and the style has changed some over time, but most Mormons know the “garmie smile.” There’s even a garmie check where you rub someone’s back high near the neckline to see if you feel them. And there are special ways to dispose of them, cut out the symbols and burn the symbols. AND you can’t hang them on a clothes line to dry if someone might see the symbols. Doze are some of the r00lz.

Do “skidders” become magical when applied to the magical undergarments?

I think the magic undies could be hot. If say one happened upon Johnnie Earle in a Motel 6 somewhere in the Carolinas after a hard wrestling meet and he was so drenched in sweat he had to beg you to get them off him so could crawl into bed, tumescent, fragrant, glistening, then yes, I’m all for magic undies,

@texrednface: @Benedick: Skid marks? Shit stains? That’s what those moist wipes are for.

@SanFranLefty: Oh, in high school, they hadn’t been endowed yet.

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