But at least we can all agree that frogs are smarter than lizards.

[via Know Your Meme]

On this holiest of blockbuster-movie days, we celebrate with the traditional recitation of the Exceptional American Creed.

Our guest columnist must have had an awesome backyard fallout shelter.

When the New Money is imposed, every American family must have a Survival Kit of highly liquid, small-denomination silver and gold coins for hand-to-hand use in an emergency.

The Ron Paul Survival Kit — now an industry standard — comes in an official World War II U.S. Army Ammo-Holder. Warning: do not keep this in a bank, but only where you can get to it during a bank holiday.

Contents: 1,000 silver dimes; 400 silver quarters; 200 silver half dollars; 20 silver dollars; 20 Silver Eagles; five $5 Gold Eagles; and one $10 Gold Eagle.

The Ron Paul Surivial Kit: $1,675.

[via Weigel]

Our guest columnist is really, really sorry for not holding an intervention for Minnesota Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch, who campaigned to put a “defense of marriage” measure on the state ballot.

An Open Apology to Amy Koch on Behalf of All Gay and Lesbian Minnesotans

Dear Ms. Koch,

On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community’s successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an “illicit affair” with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

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We really hate to bother with this, but since We Have a Master’s Degree — in Philosophy! — it’s our job to take out the trash:

Meanwhile, the candidate has faced increased scrutiny over racially incendiary newsletters published under his name. When pressed by CNN Chief Political Analyst Gloria Borger, on Wednesday in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa, Paul was defensive – and eventually ended the interview.

The candidate reiterated comments he’d said in the past, “I didn’t write them, didn’t read them at the time, and I disavow them.”

That was Wednesday, before yesterday’s revelation that he did read at least one of them, and once stood by its content. And we’re going to stop the clock at Wednesday, because there’s something about that “disavowal” that’s nagging at us.

In short: It’s a cop-out.

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