“Police in China’s Zhejiang province were searching for a man’s penis after he reported that it had been stolen while he was sleeping. ‘I was so shocked I didn’t feel a thing,’ said the man.” [Harper’s, via @JC_Christian]

“As Mitt Romney’s vice presidential selection nears and buzz about Rep. Paul Ryan’s prospects builds, a split is emerging among Republicans about whether the choice of the House Budget chairman and architect of the party’s controversial tax and spending plan would be a daring plus for the ticket or a miscalculation that would turn a close election into a referendum on Medicare.” [Politico]

“Our best estimate is that the Obamacare will cost 11 to 14 cents per pizza, or 15 to 20 cents per order from a corporate basis.” —Papa John’s founder and Romney donor John Schnatter, explaining why your couch change is the death of freedom. [Slate]

Newsweek’s Cover Is…A Bit Much [Buzzfeed]

I have founded and run one of the largest real estate empires in the world. I employ thousands of people. Why am I the enemy?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 7, 2012

[via @anamariecox]

[LAT]

During our Summer Vacation! from blogging, we’ve been trying to nail down what annoys the shit out of us about American politics.

The proximate cause was the situation we found ourself in at the end of Spring: With the Republican nomination decided, the Usual Suspects were saying the Usual Things, and after four years, we had exhausted our Usual Responses to them. It had all become Kabuki theater. Or endless reruns.

Also, there’s not much to say about Mitt’s Lies, except that Mitt is an Interminable Liar. Ideologues are a lot more fun. Ideologues seriously propose American statehood for Moon bases.

But it wasn’t until listening to Dana Gould’s latest podcast — Gould is best known as a former Simpsons writer — that we heard the specific reason for our Summer of Discontent:

“Politics is professional wrestling with ties.”

Read more »