Schlong-Crazed Gay Bathroom Sex Buccaneer Larry Craig Gives Up Trying to Prove He Doesn't Gobble Schlong Anonymously in Bathrooms

The legendary Republican gay bathroom sex buccaneer, former Idaho Senator Larry Craig, has given up his legal attempts to prove he is not a schlong-gobbling gay bathroom sex buccaneer, much to the disappointment of those enemies of hypocrisy who enjoyed seeing this avowed opponent of legalized same-sex marriage denying over and over again in court that he does not wander around airport men’s rooms begging men to stuff their schlongs into his gaping, eager maw.

The Associated Press reported Thursday that the bathroom sex buccaneer from Idaho had “decided to abandon his effort to overturn his 2007 guilty plea to charges connected with a sex sting in the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.” Read more »

Rove Needed Mike Connell Silenced. Now Conveniently He is FUCKING DEAD!

GOP vote tampering stormtrooper Mike Connell died in a suspicious plan wreck Friday, after giving a deposition on Nov. 3 related to a civil suit on vote tampering in Ohio during the 2004 presidential election and, according to some reports, enduring threats from Karl Rove that he must take the fall for rigging the election results.

Akron, Ohio residents who witnessed the crash told investigators and media they heard Connell’s single engine plane approaching the residential neighborhood where it crashed, in an apparent attempt to make an emergency landing. One neighbor said they could hear the plane’s engine cutting on and off before the flaming crash.

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American Hero: al-Zaidi

The Roads to Iraq blog is reporting that Egyptian shoe-tossing champion and TV journalist Muntader al-Zaidi is being tortured in an American military prison.

A Roads to Iraq correspondent wrote on the blog this morning, “Iraqi TV al-Sharqiya just reported on the news that AL-Zaidi is transferred to Camp Cropper prison [the Airport prison, managed by the American forces].”

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Psychogeezer: But Joe, I thought we were friends! JtWB: Hahahaha! You appalling dog, fucking die!

Utterly moronic wife beater and bleeding media hemorrhoid Joe the Wife Beater in a few short months has advance from obscurity as an unemployed, unlicensed pipe hack to a media God, invited to speak on cable news shows as a replacement for the talking dog act or for the horse who can count.

Joe the Wife Beater provides good value to these programs as he doesn’t charge and it is much more entertaining to listen to him attempt to talk than it is watching the horse try to count.

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Fascist enabler Joe Scarborough exposed his deepest and most twisted sexual fantasies on MSNBC yesterday morning, apropos absolutely nothing, shouting out, “Hey, you know what I want to see: George Bush and Barbara Bush making out.”

Yes, Joe, you twisted fuck, that’s what everyone in America is thinking about all the time when they’re not thinking about securing victory in Iraq or eliminating taxes for trillionaires, asshole. No one can wait until Caligutard finally takes it out and sucks on Battleax Barbara’s tongue for hours on ESPN pay-per-view.

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Desperate, laid-off laborers took a last stand this week, occupying the factory building at Republic Windows and Doors in Chicago to demand severance and vacation pay they know would be denied without direct action.

The Association Press reported today: About 200 employees of Republic Windows and Doors began staging the sit-in in shifts this week after learning the plant was closing Friday.

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Die Welt! Sie ist meine, sie Hunde! Hahahahahaha! Bumsen sich!

Is there a day that passes when CheneyCo does not reset the evil meter?

There have been mercenaries in history who waged wars and profited from them. Some of them have been recorded as heroes, depending on whose side you or your ancestors were on.

But few can claim to have reconfigured a globe-dominating nation’s defense industry (by privatizing defense support), gone into industry to establish himself, and returned to government to incite a war so his former employers and he could clean up on it.  (Yes, we know that he makes noises about renouncing the profits from his shares; Goering said he loved kids, too.)

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