Joe the Wife Beater Just Appalled by Psychogeezer’s Slackjawed Perfidies

Graphic Credit: Christian Science Monitor

Psychogeezer: But Joe, I thought we were friends! JtWB: Hahahaha! You appalling dog, fucking die!

Utterly moronic wife beater and bleeding media hemorrhoid Joe the Wife Beater in a few short months has advance from obscurity as an unemployed, unlicensed pipe hack to a media God, invited to speak on cable news shows as a replacement for the talking dog act or for the horse who can count.

Joe the Wife Beater provides good value to these programs as he doesn’t charge and it is much more entertaining to listen to him attempt to talk than it is watching the horse try to count.

Now, Joe the Wife Beater has been forced to go on the attack, denouncing Psychogeezer as an appalling fraud, for no other reason than the media is losing its interest in this shithead and finding even more demented clowns to stick in front of the microphones for savage amusement. (After all, he can no longer light his hair on fire, as he pulled it from his scalp by frequently plunging his head into his asshole.)

Joe the Wife Beater appeared on Glenn Beck’s radio program to complain how unseemly the Psychogeezer and his campaign was to him, America’s Everyman and barroom Bill Buckley.

The campaign “made him feel dirty,” maybe even dirtier than he felt begging the hotel staff to steal Talibunny’s underpants so he could eat them.

But what really offended Joe the Wife Beater’s delicate, informed sensibilities were Psychogeezer’s answers to his probing interrogatories regarding the financial services industry bail out.

“I asked him pretty direct questions, and some of the answers you guys are going to receive … they appalled me,” Joe the Wife Beater minced convincingly. “I was angry. I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him.”

Oh, yes, the Wife Beater is offended and he has secrets to tell about the disgusting crimes of the Psychogeezer, secrets that will send real Americans running to their windows to power chuck into their drive ways. He will tell all in his tell-all book, “Her Fragrant Ass Crack: Joe the Wife Beater’s Attempt to Save the GOP’s 2008 Campaign.”

What say you, Stinquers? Shall we place a bulk order to provide stocking stuffers for the holidays? Can we really join Joe the Wife Beater in being appalled by John the Wife Abandoner?


FCS, I say we sent some dildos, or maybe a Sarah Palin mannequin with a strap-on. What he needs is a good pestorkering. At least I think that’s what his problem is.

@rptrcub: I agree that’s clearly what he wants but isn’t the formal gerund construction of the verb to pestork ‘pestorking’?

@FlyingChainSaw: Either or. Die Gepestorkerung also works in my book for the gerund.

‘So, haha, Joe, is it time for a little ass Die Gepestorkerung’ ?

I could imagine Talibunny saying that to Joe while he is duct taped over a chair with his ass elevated, and chuckling provocatively, palming a Louisville slugger and greasing it up with transmission fluid.

What should make him feel dirty is his attention whoring. It’s fucking epic.

Let’s just send this fucker to Gitmo and be done with it.

@rptrcub: Wasn’t that unit one of the last to surrender to the Red Army in the rubble of Berlin in 1945? Their unit symbol wasn’t a Death’s head. What was it . . . ?

Yes, it made me feel dirty, too.

Gerunds? Gentlemen. Kinda elite, n’est ce pas?

Speaking of WWII, the BCS has just announced the winner of WWII, and Jamie, you’ll like this one (if you haven’t seen it already):

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work – including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule – our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories – Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests – they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”

German Chancellor Adolph Hitler said “Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany’s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.”

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented “France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

SOCORRO, N.M. (Dec. 11) – That was pretty damn funny.

@redmanlaw: I think traces of it can be seen in the type of dildo which Rammstein members blow up on stage at every concert.

@Benedick: It gives me some kind of satisfaction after dealing with morons for much of my life.

@SanFranLefty: It’s about as logical as the BCS.

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