William Safire, Nixon Speechwriter and Times Columnist, Is Dead at 79 [NYT]

We neglected to mention last week that in addition to team political contributions, the NFL also maintains a lobbying office in Washington, D.C. As well they should, since they have a Congress-approved monopoly to protect.

Some may call that Socialism — in America, no less! — but we’re more concerned about league regulations that strangle the ability of teams to compete on a free gridiron. If we want a sport that really reflects our values as a nation, we should just throw twenty-two dudes onto a field and let them score touchdowns by any means necessary. Heck, we might even contribute to their charity healthcare to maintain purity of excellence.

Just a thought as we enjoy some refreshing Belgian Pisswater during today’s Stinque Tailgate. Go Local Corporate Scumbags!

Title: “Speech-less: Tales of a White House Survivor”

Author: Matt Latimer

Rank: 81

Blurb: “If only there had been more Matt Latimers in the Bush administration.” (Tucker Carlson)

Review: “I’ll keep this book until late October when I’ll need kindling for my fireplace.”

Customers Also Bought: “Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue in the Land of the Free,” by Charles P. Pierce

Footnote: Although not our usual Wingnut Special, there’s been enough chatter around this book (by a former Shrub speechwriter) that we can’t ignore it. Bush, upon first hearing of Sarah Palin: “What is she, the governor of Guam?”

Speech-less [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

By popular demand:

This is just terrifying:

We are well and truly fucked.

“Nebraska to celebrate 300th straight sellout,” reports the AP. Imagine our crushing disappointment when we discovered the story wasn’t about Ben Nelson refusing to commit to blocking a healthcare filibuster, but rather something regarding the Cornholers’ ability to fill seats with butts. That’s enough to make us cry in our beer, and thankfully the kegs at the Stinque Tailgate are never empty.

It’s been a busy week in Beckistan, with Time and Katie showering love upon The Only Wingnut That Matters, and his hometown mayor (but not his hometown city council) giving him a hero’s welcome today.

But we’ve been wondering how long the joy could last, what with Beck stealing the gold leads from top snake-oil salesmen Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Hannity. This meddles with the primal forces of nature, after all. Beck needs to see the face of God.

Or short of that, Mark Levin.

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