The 2010 Stinque Awards
We weathered a backstage slapfight between James Franco’s hand and Thing, and survived our first Jury Nullification Crisis, so we can’t say that the third annual Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy went off without a hitch. But by the end of the day, we had added a third stop on our All-American Grave-Pissing Tour, to be scheduled as soon as our Pantheon of Crystal Douchebags do us the favor of departing This Mortal Coil. While you’re waiting in the courtesy lounge, you’re welcome to peruse the nominees and winners (in bold), with links to each presentation.
Award | Nominees | |
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Opening Ceremonies | Technical Awards for Nice People |
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Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Activity | Julian Assange Tony Hayward Kim Jong-il |
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Velveteen Vuvuzela for Obnoxiousness in Sport | Sepp Blatter/FIFA LeBron James Vancouver Olympics Organizing Committee Brett Favre |
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Feathered Fawlty for Most Obsequious Pundit | Fox & Friends Washington Post Editorial Page |
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Platinum Passport for State Most Welcome to Secede | Sarah Palin’s Alaska Arizona Oklahoma South Carolina Texas |
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Silver Slinky for Most Spineless Democrat | Barack Obama Harry Reid Evan Bayh |
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Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut |
Sharron Angle Michele Bachmann Mike Lee Christine O’Donnell Rand Paul |
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Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year | Glenn Beck Jan Brewer Pam Geller Joe Lieberman Mitch McConnell |
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Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement | Newt Gingrich Joe Lieberman John McCain Pat Robertson Antonin Scalia |
¡ANDREW! • The Second Time as Farce @ManchuCandidate: There's countless stories of asshole-on-asshole violence to warm the heart. Two…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • The Second Time as Farce @¡Andrew!: It's a little close to the truth. It seems to me that most folks who really want guns…
¡ANDREW! • The Second Time as Farce New Texas Law Requires Gun Buyers To Show Proof Of Mental Illness “Starting today, all…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • The Second Time as Farce Treason season comes early.
¡ANDREW! • I'm Just a Bill on Capitol Hill Where in the world will they find an electric chair wide enough for Tr666p.
¡ANDREW! • I'm Just a Bill on Capitol Hill Ricky Shitter is the most MAGAt name ever. Good riddance to fascist trash.
¡ANDREW! • I'm Just a Bill on Capitol Hill Meh, if the US actually had any top secrets that were worth a shit, Prezinazi AntiChrist and…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • I'm Just a Bill on Capitol Hill The FBI investigation, er, contagion has spread to Penn. Fake electors and Scott Perry. Can’t…
¡ANDREW! • I'm Just a Bill on Capitol Hill Hope everyone’s enjoying Infrastructure Week!
¡ANDREW! • I'm Just a Bill on Capitol Hill White trash gnash over Sodamn Insane’s palace FBI party crash.