The 2010 Stinque Awards
We weathered a backstage slapfight between James Franco’s hand and Thing, and survived our first Jury Nullification Crisis, so we can’t say that the third annual Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy went off without a hitch. But by the end of the day, we had added a third stop on our All-American Grave-Pissing Tour, to be scheduled as soon as our Pantheon of Crystal Douchebags do us the favor of departing This Mortal Coil. While you’re waiting in the courtesy lounge, you’re welcome to peruse the nominees and winners (in bold), with links to each presentation.
| Award | Nominees | |
|---|---|---|
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Opening Ceremonies | Technical Awards for Nice People |
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Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Activity | Julian Assange Tony Hayward Kim Jong-il |
 |
Velveteen Vuvuzela for Obnoxiousness in Sport | Sepp Blatter/FIFA LeBron James Vancouver Olympics Organizing Committee Brett Favre |
 |
Feathered Fawlty for Most Obsequious Pundit | Fox & Friends Washington Post Editorial Page |
 |
Platinum Passport for State Most Welcome to Secede | Sarah Palin’s Alaska Arizona Oklahoma South Carolina Texas |
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Silver Slinky for Most Spineless Democrat | Barack Obama Harry Reid Evan Bayh |
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Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut |
Sharron Angle Michele Bachmann Mike Lee Christine O’Donnell Rand Paul |
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Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year | Glenn Beck Jan Brewer Pam Geller Joe Lieberman Mitch McConnell |
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Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement | Newt Gingrich Joe Lieberman John McCain Pat Robertson Antonin Scalia |
