Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Activity
The Judges began their marathon
pizza fest conclave with a quandary: While this category traditionally honors foreign assholes, an abrupt change in nomenclature seemed to invite stateside nominees. After much beer pong spirited debate over whether Jan Brewer merits inclusion here for her institutional racism and Death Panels, the Judges decided to maintain the integrity of the category and censure the Management for harshing their mellow so early in the process.
Punishment meted, the qualifying nominees were duly considered. Julian Assange managed to frighten the shit out of everyone in the American Overlordship, while pissing the shit out of everyone he came into contact with. Tony Hayward was the public face of the BP oil spill and pitiful victim of lost weekends. Kim Jong-il rattled his nukes, which helped revive DVD sales of Team America.
And the winner is…
Tony Hayward. Although really, the award belongs to Joe Barton.
Next hour: Velveteen Vuvuzela for Obnoxiousness in Sport