Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Activity

The Judges began their marathon pizza fest conclave with a quandary: While this category traditionally honors foreign assholes, an abrupt change in nomenclature seemed to invite stateside nominees. After much beer pong spirited debate over whether Jan Brewer merits inclusion here for her institutional racism and Death Panels, the Judges decided to maintain the integrity of the category and censure the Management for harshing their mellow so early in the process.

Punishment meted, the qualifying nominees were duly considered. Julian Assange managed to frighten the shit out of everyone in the American Overlordship, while pissing the shit out of everyone he came into contact with. Tony Hayward was the public face of the BP oil spill and pitiful victim of lost weekends. Kim Jong-il rattled his nukes, which helped revive DVD sales of Team America.

And the winner is…

Tony Hayward. Although really, the award belongs to Joe Barton.

Next hour: Velveteen Vuvuzela for Obnoxiousness in Sport

The 2010 Stinque Awards

Gee whiz — I never thought of transnational corporation heads being eligible for rolling.

All things considered, though, an excellent decision by Fearless Leader and crew. (Introductions for our panel are in order!)

What do you give a man who was a major party in destroying a major body of water?

It gets worse. The NYT has an article based on eyewitness accounts from testimony and interviews with the survivors of the Deepwater Horizon.

Incompetent people. Poor decisions. Poor training. Cost cutting. Denial of Murphy’s Law. Crew complacency. With BP on their ass to do things faster and more efficient. It reads like every engineering failure report I’ve ever read.

Seemed almost fitting that two Transocean execubots were on the rig when it exploded. One was badly injured. The other was in shock.

Assange. I don’t know the man so I don’t have an opinion about his character. I also don’t believe a word anyone says about him right now just as I don’t believe anything reported about Lindsay Lohan, with whom our media seems to have him confused. Bradley Manning is, according to the UN definition of the word, being tortured by our government to get at Assange. So he must have done something right and any friend of the American War Machine is a friend of mine.

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