So Lindsay Vonn (r) and her Shin of Destiny (not pictured) are at Whistler today for the wimmins’ downhill run.  Apolo Ohno does his thing again tonight, as does Shawn White and Shani Davis.  Thankfully, there’s no figure skating to interfere, though NBC of course will do its level best to squeeze in a half-hour of talking about it before the men’s final tomorrow night. 

And we actually have a shot (supposedly) in the women’s cross-country 1200m sprint race.  And a word on that — have you ever seen the end of a cross-country race?  Jesus: every single time, they cross the line and then immediately collapse in exhaustion.  You don’t see that in marathons, or swimming (a good thing — you’d have drownings otherwise), or any other olympic sport.  Kind of incredible, really.

Elsewhere, USA 3:1 Switzerland in men’s hockey, in a frankly underwhelming performance.  Though it must be said that the Swiss actually trained as a team in the run-up — only three NHLers in the lineup allowed for that — the U.S. Americans should have done better.  Mark Sunday in your calendars, when they take on Canada in the biggest preliminary matchup of the bunch. 

And the storyline for Lindsey Jacobellis came to an obvious conclusion when she crapped out in the semi and ended up in fifth.  This, once again, leaves Bob Costas wanting for a storyline.  Poor Bob.  Perhaps a cute, 10-minute fluff piece about the noble, majestic beaver?  Nah… Lindsey Vonn stories are — [SHOT CLOCK BUZZER]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM2AxGYn8jU

As a young lad, trapped in a world we never made, we suffered from a recurring nightmare: the TV set would go dark. A tiger’s head would appear on the screen. And then the tiger would jump out of the TV set. And eat us.

That last step was presumed — we have no recollection of actually being devoured, followed by a muffled roar of “Theyyyyyy’re GREAT!” from somewhere beyond the intestinal tract. The moment of consumption was the moment of awakening, scared shitless.

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Does it count as a sign of the Apocalypse if it’s deliberate?

• WorldNetDaily editor on birtherism: I Am Not a Kook. [TPM]
• Sarah Palin on Family Guy episode that wasn’t about Trig: It was about Trig. [Facebook]
• Donald Trump on Global Warming: East Coast snow disproves it, and let’s not talk about Vancouver. [NY Post]
• Barack Obama on “safe, clean nuclear power”: Hello, Yucca Mountain? Anybody home? No? [Raw Story]

Another Day, Another Billboard — this one in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, home of the Fightin’ Overalls. But soon as it went up, the guys who signed the deal started backing away from the responsibility:

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With the Olympics about a quarter done, let’s run through the comments to see if there is anything amiss.  And, sad to report, there is.  One of us came with: “curling would be more fun to watch if the competitors carried rifles.”  This instigated a right-hand-menu poll, in which the question was asked: “what would get you to watch curling?”  BC Bud is leading “weapons-grade Roombas” at the moment.

Hold.  Up.  You’re in my house now, as — yes — a former curler. 

Took up the sport while in Madison.  Would curl now, if the rinks weren’t all the way up in North Bumblefuck — a lovely little town which would be an hour and a half away from downtown at rush hour, thus making me late for the start.

Why do I dig curling?  It’s Rule No. 1, entitled “The Spirit of Curling.”  Follow me post-jump, please.

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We’ve often wondered why South Carolina seems to have more douchebags participating in its political class than other states. It’s not like douchebags are a rare commodity among politicians — especially among Republicans — yet when you need a go-to douchebag to brighten your day, often as not the Fightin’ Palmettos will glow where the sun doesn’t shine.

How can this be? Well, after flippant juxtaposition careful research, we have an answer:

Feral pigs.

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